Happy holiday season to my fellow wonderers

The regularly scheduled Weekly Wonder is Christmas day. It’s my no-so-surprise gift to you all.

It turns out that for the grown-ups, Christmas is a lot about all the work we put into it before the surprise. I have the experience of to acting surprised when I open a gift I knew I was going to get.

But if it weren’t for the tradition, which could be called the routine, we wouldn’t be surprised. In my family we have agreed to be surprised on this day.

Another thing has repeated itself on our holidays for the last few years is sickness.

Last year and the year before my daughter and I were sick.

This Sunday, my husband was sick. I woke earlier than he did (also tradition) and heard him enter the bathroom in distress.

Of course I was concerned. I was not the only one who heard this unusual circumstance. Our house has another tradition.

The animals receive treats every morning. Can and dog await my husband’s rising in the morning because he very faithfully dispenses goodies. Their morning routine highlights this action.

As the photo shows, they are right outside the bathroom door looking concerned. Are they worried about him?

A cynical view is that they are impatient for their snacks. Is that all they want?

Another view is that they care about their person—my husband—and want to lend what comfort and healing they can to his distress.

Hmm. What if it is a bit from both?

The tradition created an awareness in their animals lives of what he was doing every morning.

I wake up in the same house, but the dog and the cat are not as excited when I get up. The long habit that my husband nurtured with them has created a sympathy for him.

Even after I gave them their morning treats because he was ill, they continued to watch him and stay close.

I could interpret their attention as more than self-interest. It wasn’t just because they wanted their treat; those were already dispensed.

When it comes to gift giving relationships, I can see that the repeated kindness of gifts creates a bond.

It is more than the sum of it’s parts. Looking at it today of all days, I am seeing one how Christmas works.

Being consistent, giving things that delight others with generosity is more than the value of the gift given.

I am going to call it. Yes, my husband and his daily ceremony of treats has shown me the true meaning of Christmas.

Merry Christmas to all!

Christmas is a week away!

Am I ready?

Have I learned to be the Christmas character that I would like to be?

There are a lot of traditional stories to choose from.  I was talking with some lady friends, they were trying to get ready and face the season. I was reminded that Scrooge and the Grinch are among the options.

And when I think about it, the week before Christmas is the traditional time for disaster to strike? Has your disaster arrived yet?

Someone paid extra for that disaster to come exactly at the right time to ruin Christmas.

Because the stories have the arc, the story does come around. Even Joseph and Mary with their total faith—or on the other side with Scrooge’s cynicism—the story comes around to the lesson and the blessin’.

Yes, I couldn’t resist. I was going to say gift, but from the beginning it’s not strictly a gift. The peace on earth, the way-making that Christmas signifies is more than a gift.

Scrooge’s new perspective on life at the end is better than a gift. He questions his values and arrives at a re-prioritization.

Remember how Christmas is only a week away? This is a great time for me to question what I think is most important.  

Can I shed some expectations on myself so that I can spend time with the people I can about?

I’m sure Joseph would have liked to have a nice room and bed for Mary and baby Jesus. That manger was a workaround.

But as it happened, it was exactly as it was supposed to be. And I can let go of what I thought ruined everything. The stars in the sky can look down on my workarounds, Bless all the dear children in my tender care and make me more and more fit to have the responsibility.

Are we there yet?

I remember the long road trips when me and my brothers would play games to pass the miles. We counted the mileposts on the side of the highway. We had maps on our laps, looking ahead to where we wanted to go and what we would pass along the way.

There were measurements on the routes along the way, with estimates on how many hours it would take to go between different cities. One brother would find something, and then pass it around to the rest of us to consider.

Are we there?

Are we done?

Are we finished?

Have I got to the end?

On Saturday December 7^th, I finished my black belt training. I am Sensei Murphy in Krav Maga martial arts. I did it. I am there.

Yet it is not the end. Not done or finished.

I remember graduating with my Bachelors’ degree after so many years. I felt so sad that I couldn’t take more classes. I was had done it, but I didn’t want to be done learning. It turned out I could, I just had to look harder for them. I had run past the edge of the map

Years ago, Chris and I climbed Mt Whitney, the highest peak in the lower 48 states. He got sick, but I went on with the rest of the climbing party. We got to the crest, and I saw over to the other side. That’s as far as I would go that time. We turned around before reaching the pinnacle.

I know I have more to achieve if I went to climb it again.

I have so much more I want to achieve. In each of these areas.

Like that the Whitney crest, these different accomplishments got to a natural stopping point. I can put it down for a moment, but I’m not done exploring or having adventures. I am going to see what is past my known world

I’m feeling the glow of thanksgiving, and living in the reminder that I have a great deal to be thankful for. My kitchen is bursting with food that has been carefully chosen and prepared.

The arc of the holidays means that gratitude flows right into wishes. What is my Christmas wish? What do I want? It’s a hunt to discover the secret—perhaps unknown even to them!—desires of my friends and family. And I must plumb my own depths to give suggestions to people who want to make my wishes come true.

There is less daylight in the winter, but I am staggered with my blessings. I can both make wishes and do magic by fulfilling them. The holidays are a special time of year.

That is not the full arc, though. The harvest, the wishes and then comes the new year. It’s a cycle. The short days grow slightly longer just before Christmas as the world tilts towards the sun again. The wishes churn up some deeper things.

I might wish for new shoes. But I could dream of dancing in those shoes, if only I learned the steps.

That takes more than a new pair of shoes. I’d have to set out with intention to learn the steps, and then practice until I mastered them.

It is a familiar arc. From thanksgiving gratitude, to Christmas presents and facing the new year making resolutions. Everyone in the community joins in this stepping out from the everyday routine to participate in the season.

It’s a circle, to appreciate what life has given me, then to prepare surprised and presents for the people around me to share my abundance. After the preparations and celebrations, I look at myself and see that I would like to be a better person.

I’ve been given so much, and the people I love around me show me different adventures I could be part of—Or I think of adventures I would like to have. These are the things that inspire me to expand on the person I am.