I’m up to october 2009

It’s going to get a lot worse before it gets better. I don’t want to read it. It’s the part that makes you cry in the movie…the part where you know it’s going to make you cry, and then it makes you not want to watch that movie.

But the movie is a really good movie. And you are glad that you watched it.

But you don’t want to watch that one part. That one part. But that one part is part of the movie.

I think i’ll just leave that part alone for a while.

…

One entry in my blog talked about Gut-ese, or learning to understand what my gut is telling me and listening.

My gut right now is telling me that it is going to get better at an undetermined time in the near future. I know that it has gotten better already.

But.

Experience tells me that bad S happens. That i have tried to call the bad stuff that has been happening ‘the new normal’ and make it okay.

It wasnt okay.

But it’s getting better now. It is. It’s been a stable better for weeks.

But my faith is very ragged. I have to have faith and keep my eyes on the prize.

And maybe that means not reading this blog for a little bit. I’ll finish it later.

It’s not like we didn’t plan. And it’s not like she is the worst kid ever.

But we are spending two days away from home with Veronica,and this first night already sucks.

sobbing uncontrollably for 45 minutes straight.

from 6:30 to 10, varying forms of sobbing. Chris just emerged from the bedroom (we got a suite) to say she is asleep and that he does not relish the idea of a second night of this.

Thing is, she is too big for the hotel provided crib. So we bought a cot for her. She couldn;t deal with the cot. So we called for the crib after all. That HELPED, but she can’t lie straight in the crib. Poor thing.

I woke up at 6;30. Later than my usual wakeup time. I should be witty and funny, but I”m not.

So I’m up to the part in my blog where I went back to work after Veronica was born. I’m NOT to the part where she had to be hospitalized for not growing.

That was such a scary, shaky shuddery time, it’s hard to read about. But I wrote some good turns of phrases.

I write.

Looking forward to finishing the blog. Or to be more accurate, reading up to the current place.

One of my favorite podcasts is Radiolab. This episode starts out by describing how archeologists dug into the traditional trash pit of an Egyptian site and pulled up a bunch of papyrus.

The findings were amazing. Hundreds of boxes of papyrus with earlier versions of the Bible than anybody had ever seen, just for starters. Scientists have been carefully cleaning the scraps–which are described as a bunch of cornflakes–and piecing them back together to read the messages they left.

They have been working on this for more than a hundred years.

HOLY CRAP! I am imagining what a huge amount of information we are capturing and storing right now, on YouTube alone.

Of course, as I am finishing off re-reading my ten years of blog, I found this piece of history. Right before Veronica was born, I was waiting.

On January 18, 2009, I preserved for history that I SLEPT FOR ELEVEN HOURS.

My daughter is three years old. I have not slept that much for any day of her life. I don’t think it will happen again for years and years.

This could be the last recorded time in my life that I got a good night’s sleep. A really good night’s sleep.

The Wall Street Journal had an article about women in the workplace this month.

Here are some excerpts:

You would think the problem would be solved by now…”Almost nine in 10 CEOs agree that tapping female talent is important to ‘getting the best brains’ and competing in markets where women now make most of the purchasing decisions.”

…Companies are still bleeding female talent at an alarming rate…”

One executive they interviewed urges women:

“For God’s sake, nominate yourself for promotions. You’re holding yourself back.”

What are we waiting for, ladies? Corner offices, benefits and high pay are just begging for us to take them.

Right? Why on earth are we not jumping at these goodies?

Deep in the story, after we had to flip to page B9, they go on to say:

There is evidence that the U.S. is losing ground. Women are making huge strides in emerging economies such as India and China.

What could possibly be different between America and India and China?

You can wipe off the sarcasm I am dripping all over this post and see the answer here.

All the commenters mention childcare, or dependent care as the big reason to opt out.

I am pretty sure that China and India have a better system for providing childcare than America does. Maybe it is cheaper, maybe it is easier to obtain, maybe there is a greater social acceptance for an educated mama giving the children to the care of another person, but I am pretty sure that most of the reason “Companies are still bleeding female talent” is the very very female concern of the children.

There was mention of male executives having to learn to listen to female voices during meetings. However, there was no mention of the more obvious problem of how to adjust the workload to better accommodate female childcare concerns.

If we are in such demand, come where we live and figure out how to make it worth our while to run your companies

this is the part where my writing falls off a cliff.

The blog is about to record my parenthood.

I’m dreading how I will be.

Maybe I’ll still have things to say.

Regardless, i guess I have things to say now.

I find myself, once again, in a position of being behind on my assignments before i knew the work had begun.

Teachers will do this. “As you see from the syllabus, this first class is when we will discuss the final chapter of Moby Dick. You all read it, right?”

No. No I didn’t realize I would be expected to handle this work before I knew I had been given the job.

But I’m excited. I have a lot to do, and not nearly enough time to do it all right. I guess I”ll have to do it the way i do it and hope it will be good enough.

This piece is from a kind of music called

8 bit or chiptune

The musician limits him/herself to the technology that was available…oh, 30 years ago. I like the retro feel.

of THIS song anyway.

It’s a demanding form