Why does my daughter always begin addressing me as if we are in the middle of a conversation? Her young brain must be in dialogue with me all the time.
I’m probably a bad mom since I’m always trying to get out of conversations with her. I want to be left alone, so I can use my brain for my own purposes.
For working at home, I spend a lot of time talking with other people. All those meetings, IMs, text messages and phone calls to track down whatever I’m supposed to keep track of and then I walk into my house where my daughter picks up where she left off in our conversation.
It’s not fair to give her the dregs, but I haven’t got much left after everyone else got there first.
Take a breath. Reach deep. Be nice.
All I want to do is be by myself. I microwave some food because I’m starving, and take the bowl into my own room. Let me have my thoughts to myself!
Now I feel bad and guilty for wanting to have time to myself. My acting teacher tells me there is nothing like the energy that is created between people in the same space. That’s probably true, and it would be just the sort of thing I would miss out on. My whole career is remote communication, right?
I specialize in not being the same space as other people. Suits me fine.
Just like a live concert is surely better than a recording. But I get more music in my life with all the recordings.
I am sure it’s better, but I can only do what I can do.
And I can’t do with all these people pulling on me! Can I not be in the middle of these conversations?
I had a whole conversation with myself I was trying to pick up again.
It won’t be today.