I had at least three thoughts

but I don’t remember any of them.

I was working in San Diego today. On a very tight schedule. I was thinking thoughts, but couldn’t write them down. I was going to blog about them. They seemed blog-worthy.

But I have forgotten.

I spent the evening studying the PMBOK.

My neighbor, who wants to get her california teaching certificate, came over to study.

“This is ridiculous. Why do I have to learn this stuff? ‘Sausserre asserts that the word and its referent are arbitrarily connected’?”

“You don’t have to learn things. You have to pass through the arbitrary hoops that the academic system demands. And so will your students. So taking this test makes you qualified to demand arbitrary knowledge from your students.”

We studied for an hour, and then had a glass of wine.

Chris was off playing basketball with his league. He came home and was telling me about it.

“You’re not listening. Should I not talk to you?”

I looked at him. “I have had a glass of wine. I am listening, but slowly.”

“What are you doing?” he wanted to know.

“Blogging.”

“You’re drunk blogging!”

I wish I could remember the three interesting thoughts I had.

breaking my rules

Rules for blogging

  • if I must talk about a specific person, i have to be nuetral or positive. That person may never read this, but the web is a public place and they could. So, if i don’t have something good to say, can’t say anything at all
  • do not talk about work. Nothing in my blog can refer specifically to where i work. I can’t keep the whole web from knowing, but the blog itself should not give it away
  • i may, should and frequently do talk about a person who is irritating, dissapointing or otherwise pissing me off. This must be done obliquely.

And that’s where the fun comes in. Crafting something, an abstraction or a specific story to get a handle on something that’s looming to me. Or not even looming, just niggling somewhere in the corner of my mind.

Writing it through can help me sort it out. But because of the above rules, the blogpost tends to be the tip of the iceberg.

Guy at church (first rule: specific person can only be mentioned positively) has figured this out about the blogposts. He asks me about them, and apparently enjoys (or at least patiently tolerates) hearing me go on about the rest of what’s under the surface of the blogberg…

THe title of this entry says “breaking my rules” because I was going to talk about someone. But I think that I will refrain after all. I’m sure I can find a better way to think about that someone and discuss it according to my rules

Well, I tell ya

Thank god, the major crisis has passed.

I don’t think that’s the end of if, but I wrestled the dragon and did what I needed to do….

“the right thing”

“speaking truth to power”

etc.

Now is the part where I get to breathe, sleep, and realize that things have changed very little.

oh well.

But maybe my head will be free to think and post ideas again. I”ve been trying to post more, as my readers may have noticed. But this month my mind has been full.

Now I think there is buffer space for thoughts.

Despair and persistence

That came up in a radio drama I was listening to.

Those two are a devastating combination.

What could cause despair but the death or otherwise lack of somethng precious and glorious?

And to persist in working towards or believing in that precious glorious thing, in spite of it’s unattainability…That is hero’s work.

I will never forget the part of The Fellowships of the Rings after Gandalf dies. Frodo says “We cannot go on without Gandalf! There is no hope.”
Aragorn replies, “Then we shall have to do without hope.”

..the movie forgot that line, and they shouldn’t have.

Persisting past hope in doing the right thing.

Maybe if I persist long enough hope will catch up with me.