March 5th I published The AV Project Manager handbook. It is my 5th published book

I have published books on Amazon, so I know how. Writing a book is a lot of work. I’ve done it enough times to respect what it takes. My ability to write a book and put it up for sale is the part I am most confident about.


I am very intimidated about selling it. Almost all my books have been very personal, while I attempted to write something beautiful and wise.

This handbook though, I knew was very specific. It is the book I wished I had when I started being an AV project manager. I feel confident in its value.

I tried a lot of different things to let people know about it. I also made a point of attending America’s largest Pro AV tradeshow in Vegas last week. Last year, Pro AV made $332 billion dollars. This show is the place where my handbook would have an audience.

However, it costs thousand of dollars to have a presesence—a booth—in that show. How was I supposed to get anyone’s attention? I’m not important.

I had plans, and concocted complicated strategies to promote my book and my expertise.

Which fell through the morning before.

That left me with my unadorned self. I laminated a 11×14 in printout of my book cover, punched two holes in it and wore it around my neck. It was light enough, I barely noticed it.

But others did. As I was in line to get my badge, I introduced myself to the woman behind me. “I’m Murphy! I wrote this book.”

She Bought it right away.

And I walked the floor, I met more and more people Some of them were not interested in the book. Others came from across the path to say hello and pose for a selfie.

Three days of introductions and sharing stories. I even met other people who had written books, and they share their expertise too.

of the 25 thousand people there, most were strangers. But I also met old friends that I worked with and have known for years.

I chose to go to the booths of companies where friends worked to give hugs and catch up.

Many of them said they already had the book. Many of them bought the book from me then and there.

I came away with a lot of perspective and joy. I did not and do not have a plan for what to do next.

I do know that whatever I do next will have to stay in the theme of being myself unadorned.

I have plans. I want to reach for all that is possible. Big goals and big plans. I could plan out what needs to happen to get to where I wanted to be. First I would have to organize this, then this next thing was the key to unlocking the rest.

I do love my goals. I always have several going on. I push them forward, aware of where they sit, what I am waiting on and when I should put to get an update because things have slowed down.

This instinct helps me in my profession as a project manager. I love to track the movement toward the goal and remove all the obstacles, no matter how small. I will make three paths to to goal, just to make it as easy as possible for my teams to get there.

I’ll write out possibilities, seeing if a tweak could make it ever better. If we did it this way, would it be faster?

And if tried that, maybe we could capture another prize. Let’s see if that can happen!

And these plans are all in motion. Push push push push

The flow of motion is a joy.

Until

STOP

Blocked

But I had a plan! I was going to to this one thing, and then it would lead to the next thing

Why no!?

I want to execute my plan. It’s a beautiful plan.
All my energy was channeled into making it happen.

I can’t handle a NO.

I try again. And again.

NO

I throw myself against the blocked door. Give me an answer!

No.
I might not like it, but no is an answer.

Beating myself against a locked door is a waste of time.

The sooner I accept the answer the sooner I can get my energy back.

That beautiful plan needs a re-mapping. The no is not about me.

It is a “try again.”

I can still find a way to that prize. I’m still looking.

This is my backyard. Our dog runs around out there.

We had a drought, and we were riding the fine line. How do we water the grass while still conserving water?

We tried a lot of things, including planting a low water seed.

Then.

Things happened. We got caught up in other things.

IMPORTANT things!!

We let the grass fend for itself.  

There were rainy seasons when the plant life in that area burst forth exuberantly. I liked the luxurious growth, relishing the soft carpet of wild clover leaves

This was unearned luxury.

A broken clock is correct twice a day.

The growth dried in the sun. We discovered the pretty plants dried into sticky burrs that stuck to our socks and in between the poor doggie’s toes.

It’s time we did right by our backyard.

I am tired of seeing suffering on my doggie’s face. I want to have grass between my toes. We’ve waited too long.

Enough with the procrastination! I am ready to put the work in and fix it.

I began to collect the information to start the project. And I realize I am too late.

Like I said before, there are times when plants thrive and there are times when they suffer. Right now is a tough time for plants.

As weary as I am of these ugly prickly weeds, the new grass won’t survive well right now.

There is a window of opportunity, and I missed it.  I’ll just have to grind my teeth and fish the burrs out of my dog’s fur until it is cooler weather.

I have to pay attention to the seasons. There was a dry season, and we responded. There was a busy season and we responded to that.

Now I’m living with the consequences. I wish I had that pretty lawn, but I put my attention elsewhere.

I made a choice. I am living with the consequences.

I am reaping the harvest I have sown.

And I wish I could go back in time and have grass again. I can’t. Those prickly burrs are a reminder to pay attention to my life while I’m living it.