Okay, it’s finally hitting me.

I am getting married! In FOUR MONTHS!

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

*pant* *pant* *pant*

I’m very excited. It took a while to sink in that I would be Mrs. Daley. Well, MS. Daley, because I am my own person. And that makes me smile just about all the time.

But there are some details that come with throwing the big party. Wow!

I need a dress. And I need to figure out what kind of food. And I need to get some invitations.

And I need to register.

…register…that seems to weird. I wonder if I can register at home depot?

what I do know is that I better get on this thing, and fast. I want to have a lovely memory, a time shared with all the people who wish me well, to start on this Marriage thing.

…it’ll be great…

I just have to remember to scream in my head, not out loud.

ah, last night went very well. A good time was had by all, and puppy was charming. Cat did not make an appearance. He is chary with his public.

And today, despite our busy Friday and Sunday (mother’s day) plans, was the first real relaxed saturday that i think I’ve had ALL YEAR. I guess it proves my idea that Chris really needed to be jerked away from work by the scruff of his neck and do something else for a change.

This is one of the reasons to have company over. That, and to force you to really clean the house for once.

Chris has been a hero-prince all day. He eve woke me up from a nap to say “I made you dinner. I BBQed for you, and it’s all ready now.”

How great is that? He’s wonderful.

So this is just about the most boring entry ever, especially after all my showcased work. But oh well. I’m feeling good, and I will be boring if I must.

Happy mother’s day, everyone!

I’m having friends over for a game night.

how exciting! This will be the first game night in my new house of joy.

ah…let us pause as I contemplate my beautiful happy home. I love my home. I love that it’s mine and I get to make it beautiful with flowers and pretty things all the time, and no one can tell me otherwise.

And one of the ways of making my house even more beautiful is by having a bunch of great people over and doing something that will be remembered as a good time. It’s important to have the memories of good times, for the sake of bringing them to mind when I am alone, and even more for the sake of bringing them up with the people you shared them with. I will be able to say “Remember that one time…” and every gets that special look of remembering, which usually includes a smile.

Yes, it’s a vortex of looking forward to the time when I can remember the good time that I am looking forward to having tonight, which leads to…

YAY! We are having the first game night at my house!

There is a big selection of games. I have purchased snacks…Salsa and chips and pretzels…. And sodas, and maybe we’ll makes margaritas…maybe…depends.

The only outstanding question is the playing surface. Our dining table is up against the wall, and in that configuration seats four. It could be moved away from the wall to seat 6…which may end up being the choice…but that would make it a tight fit in that passage way.

We COULD go in the living room and put the board on the ottoman and sit on the floor. I will have to consult the players when the arrive and see what everyone thinks. Either way is fine with me…

yay!

It’s been 5 years, and I’ve culled some of what I consider my best entries from that time to share with you all.

But just because I consider them my finest does not make them the most popular.

BY FAR, my most popular entry is this one. It’s a recipe for homemade microwave popcorn.

haven’t all of you wondered why you should spend ridiculous amounts of cash on a bag designed to pop popcorn in, only to throw it away at the end? Well, even if you haven’t, enough of the internet has to lead them to a search, which leads them inevitably to my site.

A strange glitch in the internet makes me the only source of information on this most basic of tasks. Just about every day someone comes to the wonderblog to find out how to make popcorn themselves with common household materials.

I am the dispenser of popcorn wisdom. Do not be tricked into losing your hard-earned money to that suspicious Redenbacher character with his beady little eyes.

The next three most popular are probably tied. I declare them tied because I can’t be bothered to actually figure out which is more clicked…

This one is about the camia flower. I was given this pretty flower as a present, and blogged about it. Camia is a pretty name, isn’t it? It’s such a pretty name that a lot of daughters were named this name. Said daughters do searches on that name. So do the friends, admirers and desperate rejected suitors of these daughters.

Due to another black hole in the fabric of the internet, I am one of the very few sources of information about the camia flower, and the only source that is actually interesting.

This entry is a riff on a Dilbert cartoon. He is meeting his new boss, who introduces himself curtly as “Niel.” Dilbert bows on one knee. Get is? KNEEL. I did an entry on all the names I could think of that were action verbs. A silly little execise which resulted in a very popular entry.

This one, a highly popular entry, I am actually proud of. It’s a full on personal essay about curly hair. I like it. If I ever get off my butt I may submit it Oprah magazine or something.

This was found by the site naturallycurly.com. They came to me wanting to post in on their site. I negotiated a tank top for my writing. You can find it here.

Yes, I was giddily proud of that at the time. Now, I want more.

My Moose Kill story is still a popular one. People find it searching for moose anatomy.

And I like some of the fictional stories the blog inspire me…This sexy little number was fun…and then my Nadia story.

Miriam wouldn’t exist if it weren’t for my blog, so I am well rewarded for the last 5 years.

I don’t want to stop. But I do want to get better. But this is virgin territory, folks. I am a veteran blogger, even if I am not as well-known as the other people who’ve been blogging for the same amount of time.

Truth is, I know why those four entries are so popular. It’s not rocket science…Someone links to them, pretty much. That’s the deal with the curly story and the popcorn. Okay, the powerful names one just stands on it’s own, as does the Camia flower. It’s an accident of the internet.

I could make like a shark and really go for the hits…Hit me baby! Again! HARDER!

But I can’t muster up enthusiasm for it.

Right, that’s the other thing I forgot to mention. For a year or two, I was a major poster on Blogcritics…They were a start-up site, and are now something of a force on the internet.

But that was when I was a baby blogger. I reviewed (not very expertly) CDs and movies and such things. But as I got better, I didn’t feel like doing that anymore.

We parted ways. I just don’t get excited about popular subjects. And so I stopped posting, and they eventually redesigned their site. I wasn’t linked to as much and my hits dropped by more than half. That hurt. I guess the internet is a lot like a mall, where traffic matters…I had relagated my wonderblog to an obscure untravelled corner of the internet. And it was not enough to keep the readers.

I don’t want to be like the other guys…I want to be me, but better.

And a little rich-and-famous wouldn’t be bad…

But thanks so much for those of you who are reading this. it’s a journey…I’ll try to keep entertaining…at least I know I can entertain myself along the way.

..to love my own words so very much…?

I am thoroughly enjoying my own parade of the best of the wonderblog. And I haven’t even gotten up to 2006 yet.

As I look through these entries, I am discovering that I actually have a style. I have worked very hard to “find my voice” with my other writing, the stuff that doesn’t get posted here. Yes, there is a lot of that. My poems, my book, etc. have gotten MUCH editing and re-working to get the tone I’m looking for.

I love this blog, and I am really glad I’ve had it. But for the most part, I’ve considered it a scratch pad. just for scribbles.

The internet has it’s own taste.

It loves smut, celebrity gossip and the like. Politics, oh yeah. People can read about the news and that forever.

And the internet loves nerdiness and GADGETS.

none of which is me.

I guess I’m underground even for the internet. I have a style, now that I stop to look at it. Perhaps I should spend a little time trying to craft it and see if I can find an audience now that I’ve got my groove…

but, as anyone that’s ever gone out dancing with me knows, my groove needs no audience. It’s good to groove, even if you are the only one on the dance floor.

That’s how I feel today: cheerful.

Could this possibly have to do with the fact that I bought a They Might Be Giants best-of CD at Amoeba? Not ruling it out.

It feels marvelous to feel cheerful. It’s been a while.

I’m so glad to be at home, and have Chris at home with me too. I’m also not traveling for work right this second, so that feels good.

good is good.

I made it. This is the day that I’ve been waiting to arrive at for the last two weeks.

It’s been one thing piled on top of the other and they all must get done. But I knew that Sunday would be the day that it would stop.

Or at least pause.

I just took a shower, so I am clean. I am very pleased with the outcomes of all the piled things.

ahhhh

I’m in San Francisco right now, with Chris. He is not the devotee of the city that I am. But in about an hour, we’re going to take some dear German friends who’ve never been to america before, down to Ameoba records. They want some Johnny Cash, and who knows what else?

It will be fun and nice. I will wear comfortable shoes…..and leave all the stress behind.

So this weekend my bathroom is being demolished and rebuilt. It is the shabbiest part of my house. But next week, it will be fabulous!

Also, I’ve had a last minute assignment at work that I just completed. Installing new equipment. WEEE!!!

and then there are two very heavy TVs that need to be replaced at a different facitility. I ordered and got two new TVs that are even heavier to replace the heavy TVs. But they sent the wrong TV. And so I had to pack up the new heavy TVs, and put the original heavy TVs back.

My back hurts a little today.

and I have a new project for the ship business. I have to make sure the vendor we hired actually finishes the job we hired him for.

We are in the part of the project that takes a fine tooth comb and lots of proving that there is indeed a problem that needs to be fixed.

Oh, but our central air broke. and our home needs new electrical wiring to keep that from happening again.

But we can’t do anything about it, because the biggest ship event of the year is happening this weekend. I will be flying to join Chris and all the exuberant collectors for a little ship extravaganza in San Francisco.

—
…….
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I’m feeling a little overwhelmed.

I’m also a little bit sad to miss church this sunday. This sunday is Palm Sunday.

They could have called it Donkey sunday…or celebration Sunday. It’s commemorating the time that Jesus rode into Jerusalem on a donkey, and everyone was so glad to see him that the whole city, practically, broke off palm fonds and layed them on the road in front of the donkey. If they couldn’t find a palm frond, they even lay down their coats to make a beautiful path for the donkey to walk on.

WOW! Such acclamation. Can you imagine? That would be even better than the red carpet treatment.

I have to say, in addition to feeling overwhelmed, I’ve been feeling underappreciated. Mostly at work.

No one was noticing the great things I did. I was only getting more work.

But…When i think about palm sunday, I realize that favor and appreciation is very fleeting.

I guess I should find it in myself, and not look for it from others.

A while back, I had emailed an old friend. We were catching up on each other’s lives, and I told him I was studying to get my english degree.

“Oh, that’s great! I’ve always wanted to get an english degree.”

I asked him what was stopping him. I mean really, of all the goals in life, that one is very easy. It’s written down on paper–a checklist!–what you have to do to make it happen.

That’s one of the good things about academia. You can’t miss. It is absolutely clear what it takes to get the prize.

Not too much after that I graduated.

Which meant it got harder. What was next? The paved road ended. It was time to break a new trail.

But it wasn’t exactly a new trail. There seems to be always another degree. I could get a masters degree in something. OR a doctorate.

But I couldn’t quite figure out what the point of it was. What was it for? What did I really want?

maybe, as it happened, i just wanted a prize.

Prizes are good. They MEAN something. In fact, prizes usually state very clearly what they mean:
“For excellence in running the 100 yard dash”
“First place in Watermelon growing”
“For excellence in the study of diversity in the humanities”

I love prizes. Well, there are some that are meaningless. The kidn that everyone gets just for showing up are not highly valued by me.

But I like prizes. In fact, I try to create little things in my life that are like prizes…Like a ‘win’.

Getting up and going to the gym in the morning…that’s a win.
Meeting the bus is a win.

Those are little things that I can accomplish that make me feel good.

So I can stack up all the little things in my day and feel like a winner.

Lately though, the little things aren’t feeling like enough. I want more.

I want wins that take more than a day to accomplish. I want that kind of prize.

I can’t see over the hill though. I passed the flat valley a while back. All the easy prizes, the ones that I wanted to try for, I already got.

What is the next one? I can’t see over the hill.

Or maybe I can. But it’s a long walk.