SIGH

the blog is languishing.

I’m sorry. I have a lot on my mind. So much, really, that I have about a half dozen really long and very interesting and intelligent blog posts that I would like to do.

But I am a little depressed about the lack of interest on my blog. I should not say that, because those of you who DO read it might take it personally. I thank you all, dear readers, for your faithful interest.

But…well…I guess being smart and erudite wears thin. Or maybe I’m not as erudite as I wish I were. SIGH.

I met someone, and she is funny and interesting. She also has a blog:
Little Miss Can’t Be Wrong Ever

her blog is amusing, mostly about her personal life, little funny stories. Exactly the sort of thing that I usually DON”T write about, because I want to be a little more universally appealing.

Well, she has a larger audience for her blog than i do. Hmph.

Maybe she just has a larger circle of aquaintances than i do.

…this does not make it better…

So, this is a whiny post about how nobody pays attention to me.

I am very tempted to delete it, because i should not have something so self-serving and unflattering posted.

However, I am not sure I will have time to write something better in the near future.

SIGH

Valley of the Shadows

Fight the powers that be! I’m talking about non-conformity!

But I’ll tell you the truth I’d like to be an undercover non-conformist. A little conformity is a comforting thing. Enough to get through the door.

‘Cause I always think I’m a little off. Not quite like all the other non-conformists. As if I am unaware of the three sheets of toilet paper dragging off my shoe.

Somehow, if I start talking about what’s on my mind, people give me a blank stare and say, “Whatever.”

But I’ve got the floor, and you don’t, so I’m going to speak my mind.

I got this new job. And I’ve moved to a new place. Okay, I’ll be honest I bought a house–one that June Cleaver would be proud of, with a lemon tree in the front and roses on the side.

This freaks me out a little. Because I do not want to wear a twin set and eat off the kitchen floor. I want to be that creative artist type that stays up all night drinking and toking with their other creative friends and being REAL.

Isn’t that what the L.A. life is all about? Except I don’t’ drink much and I don’t like drugs. And I get really sleepy around nine thirty, so no one would hang out with me.

I guess that’s the life in West L.A. I live on the East East of L.A., and I am just like everyone else here. We get up early and speed to beat the sunrise, speed to the screeching halt of the bumper in front driving 5, 20, 10, stop and then start again with the miles per hour for the hour or the hour and a half that it takes to finally stop at the parking lot and the padded cell walls of the cubicle.

It’s not so bad. I like mornings. And maybe this is the real L.A. after all. Maybe you crazies from the West are going to crash and burn back to where you came from while we east enders drop the grains of sand into our 401Ks ’til our time runs out, the mortgage is paid or we retire–whichever happens last.

Maybe this is the real L.A. Los Angeles is full of Valleys, did you know? Any dip between these many hills is a valley.

Quite honestly, I love my commute. I drive a short jaunt on the 10, exit left and downshift my manual transmission down to 3rd so I can power up the crest of the 57. Below me, just at sunrise, the North Horizon is a range of green tree and gray rock mountains, which, when hit by the slant light of dawn, get pink or orange or purple mountain majesties.

This is the San Gabriel Valley. Yes, the Holy Angel Gabriel, the mouthpiece of God. And I hear it every morning, the messenger of God proclaiming that I am redeemed.

But that is the second valley of my daily journey. I had to climb to enter the Angel’s valley. I asked around and discovered that I live in Pomona Valley. Pomona is the name chosen for this place when it had few houses and more fruit trees. Pomona is the Goddess of the harvest. I dwell in the Valley of the Goddess. Which is most excellent, because I am the Queen of Pretty Things. It’s a long story, but I’ve been the Queen of Pretty Things for almost seven years now, a position which carries a lot of responsibility. As the Queen, I am pleased to find my dominions in the Valley of the Goddess.

As to be greeted by the Valley of Voice of God, traveling through it every day to the very end. I know it is the very end of the San Gabriel Valley, because my cube window faces a big Rock. The rock is part of a mountain, and where there is a mountain, on the other side is a Valley. This valley is well known: the San Fernando Valley.

Fernando…OOooo Fernando…ABBA? This is the Valley of the Dancing Queen.

I travel there less frequently. I suppose that’s just as well.

Quote for today

Taken from a play “An Immaculate Misconception” By Carl Djerassi

“oh, everything? for a scientist that’s a meaningless word. You can never know everything. but you can learn when to stop looking for more.”

It is not such an easy thing to learn when to stop. The uneasy balance of progressing without knowing everything is something we all must learn.

It’s maybe like learning to ride a bike–except the inverse. If a person never forgets how to ride a bike, then one always forgets how to keep their balance on incomplete knowledge.

or perhaps it would be better to say, incomplete ignorance. Since the greater percentage is on the side of ignoance

thinking

You know, I’ve been doing a lot of interesting things that take up time.

I’ve been trying to solidify some thoughts to right down a good blog entry, but I’ve been on the move.

Let me see what I can think of to say here.

I have been trying to pick up Spanish. I live in a place where it is truly possible to totally immerse myself in a language that is foriegn to me.

Since I moved to LA, I have felt bad that I don’t know spanish. In Europe, citizen pick up the language of their neighboring states. It seems to be a sign of willful ignorance to not learn how to communicate with the people who live next to you.

But, Americans do not really make the effort to learn Spanish. The line often taken is:
“This is our country. They should learn our language if they want to live here.”

Interesting. This is not the same attitude of the Europeans. I suppose we Americans either do not assume that we will be visiting Mexico (or Quebec, for that matter) to encounter native speakers of a non-english language, or we assume that any of such non-English speakers are here in America permanently and are therefore obligated to make the effort to learn the American language.

We just don’t really make the effort to learn Spanish.

But that is the Gringo attitude, basically. There are a number of American citizen who could have been raised in a spanish speaking household, but they have differing degrees of fluency.

Now, I have met a lot of Spanish speaking people as I’ve lived here. What I have not found are people who are willing to speak Spanish to ME.

It’s a thing very close to the heart. Knowing spanish, and speaking it with a person at work, someone outside the home culture, are two very different things.

I have found a guy here at work who will talk with me. He was born in Mexico, and has become an American citizen. He has family here and in Mexico. It seems to me that he is very generous with his language. Other people are more hesitant, as if they have something to prove or something to hide regarding the language proficiency.

This is fascinating. It makes me all the more anxious to gain literacy en espanol.

Health

I’m sick again. I’m trying hard not to be, but since I have to go to hospitals and hospitals have a lot of germs, they stick to me.

This one isn’t so bad, it’s mostly the sniffles. I hope it goes away.

I may have to learn a lot more about germ-repellent activities.

okay, so it’s been a week

I’m trying to organize myself. It is sort of daunting, as anyone who has tried to get organized knows.

The thing is, it is easy to START getting organized. It’s harder to finish getting organized.

as a matter of fact, it is darn near impossible to finish. You can only continue.

Happy New Year, Everyone!

It seems like almost everyone I know has had a mellow new year’s celebration. It was raining a flood over in my neighborhood, so maybe that had something to do with it.

Chris and I had a nice, very relaxed time together.

It occurs to me that staying up until midnight to catch the absolute first minute of the new year is kind of silly.

Why not just go to bed, and wake up to a new year, with a full night’s sleep?

Something to think about.

Naming Conventions

I met Chris for dinner after I went to the bank about some of our money matters. We were catching up on each other’s day:

“The guy at the bank kept calling you my husband. I told him you weren’t…”

“Old habits die hard.”

“I guess ‘significant other’ hasn’t quite caught on. It’s kind of formal, anyway.”

“What would you want them to call me?”

I smiled adoringly at him. “You would be my ‘old man’.”

“Oh right. Then would they call you my ‘old lady’?”

“I prefer to be your ‘queen’….I guess they could call you my ‘prince charming’.”

Chris got that funny look on his face, the look that means his funny bone is clicking into place. “…do you think that if a real royal family, and you had a son…?”

“NO!” I said. “That’s not allowed.”

“Why not? there could be a prince charming the first…”

“No, it’s against the rules.”

“What rules? If you were King, you could do what you wanted.”

“You could not! The same rules that let you be King would dictate what sort of names you could use to name the princes.”

“…and then he would grow up to be King Charming…”

My turn now. “Of course if it were an Emperor…maybe in China…”

“The Ming Dynasty?”

“Yeah…Emperor Char Ming.”

Christmas eve dinner

It never occurred to me before, but there are some people who do not celebrate Christmas Eve. For some people, it’s just the day before Christmas.

In my family, there has been a big set of traditions regarding Christmas Eve.

First of all, we open our gifts on Christmas Eve. It has to do with my family’s rejection of Santa Claus, based on religious grounds that he takes away emphasis from Christ. I think my oldest brother was permitted the myth, but by the time I came along the religious fever had pitched a battle against the jelly bellied father of Christmas.

Not given the opportunity to believe the story, I didn’t really miss it. The fact was, we opened the presents a day earlier than some others, and that seemed a good trade off.

Since we did not do away with the stockings, I felt that it drew the festivities out nicely, to have presents on Christmas eve and then extra little presents in our stockings on Christmas morning, and candy!

The stockings always had a mandarin orange in the toe, to weight it down, and the rest was filled with candy and little toys. Naturally, we ate the candy for breakfast. And we’d eat the orange too, to get something healthy in there.

We could also eat any leftover cookies or anything given to us as Christmas treats for breakfast. Mom would make a real breakfast too, but that would take a long time to actually hit the table. The cookies, candy canes, and fudge would be the first course.

That’s not to say that there were not non-sugary traditional Christmas goodies in the mix. But those types of things would be served as appetizers after Christmas Eve dinner and then later, before Christmas dinner itself.

That was part of our Christmases; we always had lots of hors d’oeuvre-y things sitting around to snack on. Our appetites were never in danger of being spoiled; my family could always eat.

This Christmas I spent away from my family. But I take my traditions with me.

This year I made Christmas Eve dinner for Chris’s family. They had no Eve tradition. So I made our traditions for their dining pleasure.

Of course, you can never go home again. Things have to be changed with the times.

First of all, Chris’s family is not the gluttons mine are. The have appetites that can be “spoiled” for dinner.

No hors d’oeuvres.

But there is the traditional Caesar salad my mother always use to make. I can rip up the romaine myself and mix the dressing, and grate the hard boiled eggs and fry the bacon crumbles.

Wait. Maybe these people don’t like the eggs, and I’m sure one of them doesn’t eat pork. Better put the good stuff on the side.

Okay, I can still make the clam chowder. Clam chowder, very American, very familiar food. Hey, even Marie Callendar’s serves Clam Chowder. These people will like it.

My family’s tradition of clam chowder is a modification of a previous tradition. Apparently, in the “Old County” (I don’t know if that was supposed to be Germany or England, my grandmother had a mix of both) the tradition was oyster stew. Mom made it for us once, and us kids were horrified at what appeared to be a boiled eyeball floating in broth. After rejecting the instructions to swallow it whole, I cut a slice off. Black gritty stuff oozed out.

We talked Mom into creating a new tradition of clam chowder, as an alternative shellfish soup. It took, especially since my mom and brothers enjoyed going clamming. We would often have clam chowder made of the clams we had caught and gutted ourselves.

But with Chris’s family, when this menu item was revealed as the main course, someone asked if there would be ‘something else–in case I don’t feel like clams.”

Great. So, I’ll need another course for these delicate appetites. What can I be sure that these people will actually eat? They are a foreign culture to me, really. What do Middle Americans eat?

Hamburger Helper?
Some kind of Velveeta product?

I went for Shake ‘n’ Bake, green Jell-O, and white rolls. I do want to respect their traditions.

As it happens, there is a tradition of green Jell-O from my mom as well. For many many years, mom would always make green Jell-O with shredded carrots. It wasn’t until my brother married, that my new sister-in-law finally asked the question, “If you never eat this stuff, why do you keep making it?”

It was true. We never quite ate the shredded carrot Jell-O. It just comforted us with its presence. We switched out the carrots for pineapple, and voila, a traditional comfort food became edible.

So we have soup, we have salad; we have a main course, and two side dishes. But we still need a dessert.

My first impulse was to make plum pudding. I have a really easy recipe for it, and many people are surprised to discover this much mentioned and seldom seen traditional food is actually cake.

But I am in a warm and gentle climate; L.A. in December is citrus country. People have been shoving grocery bags of grapefruit, oranges, tangerines, lemons and pomellos at me all week.

It is not an option to refuse these fruits. People feel guilty that they cannot consume the fruit of their yards, and feel strongly that if only everyone could do their part, the fruit would be eaten no problem.

So, I came home on Friday with about two dozen lemons in three varieties. What do you do with so many lemons?

Since it was 80 degrees outside, lemonade seemed like a good choice, but then, I thought a lemon meringue pie would be perfect.

I took special care with everything, and spent a full day and a half, making the soup and the salad and raising the dough for the rolls, and shaking the chicken and whipping meringue.

The piecrust took the longest, I will confess.

In my own mouth, everything tasted glorious. Except the shake ‘n’ bake, but some things are acquired tastes. I got to use herbs from my own garden in the chowder–sage, thyme, and marjoram–and I used smoked clams for extra deliciousness.

We opened a bottle of Riesling that I had purchased on our last trip in Germany. It was yummy, even if the flecks of burnt cork floating in my vintage wine glasses were blamed on dirt from the poinsettia centerpiece.

Never fear, there is enough in the bottle to pour the offending dirt speck/cork fleck-tainted liquid down the drain and get a new glassful. I choked back my objections to such waste, and things proceeded apace.

The final result came in, with no one audibly complained or making those little breathy noises that indicate disgust. Everyone ate something of everything, too. Chris himself, as instructed, told me everything was good.

I responded, “Once more, with feeling.”

“It’s good, baby.”

I think it was a success. Truly, my only regret is that there were not more leftovers that I could enjoy later.

Merry Christmas, Everybody!

I broke the Christmas tree

I didn’t mean to.

Last weekend, we decorated it all pretty. We had lights from a previous year, Red and White like a peppermint.

Chris and I wrapped the lights around the tree, and then hung up decorations his Grandmother had given us. We put up red and green balls around it too.

On the top, I hung my traditional icon of Saint Nicholas. He looks very nice up there. THe tree was beautiful.

On Monday, Chris told me that he wanted to have his mother over for a special birthday dinner on friday. I thought that was a marvelous idea, and started to clean things up to be ready for the event.

I got out the vaccum, and I plugged it in to the outlet on the top of the string of lights. It was most convenient for my cord. I vaccuumed everywhere, and the floor looked nice.

But the lights stopped working. It turns out that the electricity drawn by the vaccuum fried the fragile christmas lights.

We had to buy more.

We looked everywhere, but the red and white christmas lights are not available. There are blue and white. There are green and red. But no red and white.

We went with green and red.

“Chris,” I said. “Most people only get to decorate their christmas tree once a year.”

“Are you saying we are getting to decorate it twice?” He smiled at me. “Sit down, I’ll hang the ornaments.”

I watched him put all the ornaments back on the tree. It looks nice, but I am sorry I broke the tree.