it’s been a tough patch. At least a week, and I am really struggling to return to the mean. I want to get back to a positive frame of mind.

There is more under my control than I’ve been exercising. I did start to put it out there that I need some people to cheer me up

and some people are coming though…I am seeign again that I can find what I need, I can ask for it.

here are words I am putting together. I want to make room to write sentences

I am so close to completing my next non-fiction book. One more chapter, then the front and the end chapters

so close. Why is it taking me so long?

I heard someone say that a writer can struggle with just a few sentences a day. That seems like an affectation for high-culture writers, not for a non-fiction how to book

and still. That is where I am at. Ok. I worked on a few sentences yesterday

I will try to do a few more sentences today.

I know the Twitter files are coming out for twitter

journalists matt taibbi and Bari weoss arr Tell me a story based on documents that Elon Musk provided What happened when Twitter was censoring during the Trump presidency and during the election that elect Joe Biden

Talking about how these executives at Twitter came up with the rules that were on the fly in arbitrary to protect their ideological cherish edviewpoints

some people who share their cherished ideological viewpoints think it’s silly oh who cares this is nothing this is not important some people who do not share the ideological viewpoints and were feeling the censorship you’re vindicated finally we are hearing the truth

This is not new

Veronica complained that her elementary school teachers wanted her to write about Christmas traditions. “I don’t know what a tradition is, because I’ve only seen what we do. I don’t know what other people do.”

Is it a tradition if we don’t make a big deal of it being a tradition? It’s rather subtle if we just do one particular thing one day a year. It’s only over time that it becomes a pattern.

What she seemed to be thinking of was traditions that are carried on by many families. Maybe like Christmas carols. The traditional songs played every year on the radio are a shared experience. Even so, there are songs that get to be the favorites for our particular family.

There are hymn-style carols. And then there are the American carols…even up to as recent as the rock’n’roll Christmas songs. But Brenda Lee’s ‘Rockin’ around the Christmas tree’ is 64 years old. The new ones aren’t that new.

It’s not just the songs though. Christmas traditions are about being together. Yes, the meal and maybe some background music. But the games are required. There are several games that we play, that only we play—two generations back card games no one else has ever heard of.

And then there is the one, like the Christmas songs on the radio, that everyone plays. My daughter has never known a holiday that didn’t have Uno.

It’s a special card deck that is so simple, the littlest kids can play. And it doesn’t take much concentration. There is just enough trick moves that I can complain that the one is hiding or plotting against the other.

It’s a game that was started by an Ohio family in ’71. I imagine they enjoyed it a lot. They took crazy eights and added a few tweaks. They believed in it so much that they printed out five thousand decks. Loaded them in the vehicle and drove across the country selling it. They were as popular as he hoped, which led to even better marketing. At last, in 1992 the huge toy company Mattel bought it and it showed up everywhere—particularly in the after-dinner pre-dessert part of the holiday meals.

People have their own holiday traditions. One of the warmest traditions for me is the togetherness. The games make it playful. That time when someone snuck in a draw four on the guy who just called out “uno!” The other time when Grandma won three times in a row. This is the way the traditions settle in.

Veronica’s going to be in high school next, so I don’t think she’ll get asked to write about traditions anymore. She’ll just have them.

I was listening to a Jordan Peterson lecture on personality and he was referencing he 5 pillars of personality. I’ve taken that test, and the personality tests.

I come up on the extremes in a lot of tests. I am EXTREMELY extroverted…which is weird, because I don’t always want to be around people…I like my alone time

and yet

I think I need to give myself room for being around people. Like performance. performance or some such that is in the space time and space. This long distance stuff is not the same.

It’s close.

hmmm….

I probably need to eat breakfast. Things feel kinda wrong. I’m not confident I can find my way back to excitment

It’s almost assuredly a lack of breakfast

I meant to do a lot this weekend.

I did a lot. Not what I thought i would do, but a good amount of things.

I didn’t write as much as I hoped. I ended up doing family things.

I’m trying to make room for more creativity. I guess my expectation for myself as I endeavor to make room for creativity is that i will PRODUCE more creative output.

Not so much. Not yet

I’m making space. I’m putting little blog entries here, tucking them away like seeds underground.

Or slingshotting my pebble into the universe.

Either way, they are outputs into the great “who cares?”

I care. I will sling my barbaric yawp into the vast galactic internet.
The point is the action, not the audience.

I wouldn’t mind an audience though.

I am trying to write on my blog every day. I used to do that. It seems like I HAVE to do it at the beginning of the day or it gets lost

I wonder if I could make time in the middle to Clea my head for thoughts?

It feels like it wouldn’t work.

But I could try

arbitrary boundaries

I’m the one that drew the line in the sand

it’s only sand

BUT THIS IS SERIOUS!

no laughing matter

I MEAN IT!

but I’d rather be laughing

can’t we dig a hole in the sand instead? and see if a hole is more interesting than a line?

What else can this sand do?