New year new me right?

I’m trying to remember who I used to be. I did have an old me. Is this new me going to be an improvement?

I’m really ready to get into a version of myself that I’m pleased with. Can I remember that person?

Like looking back through a fog, I can see the outlines of the person I used to be. That person used to get up int eh morning eager to get moving on the adventures and the challenges.

It’s been two years of cancer treatments and I’m not quite done. I am tempted to think of it as an alternate reality that is separate from real life. But is it? It’s not like time stopped while I’ve gone through the treatments. Life has been happening for everyone else while I’m doing these things. Maybe it’s happening for me top, if I choose to see it.

Could I manage that?

I’m finding faith for small things again. Small things that can turn into big things.

I may not be able to see myself as strong and whole as I’m stuck in recovery. Honestly, I’m struggling with faith in myself right now.

The good news is I don’t have to work on believing in myself. I have to find a way to do things that will help me get strong.

Even things that don’t feel strong. Like sleeping. And eating food that will sustain me.

I don’t WANT to do those little things. I want to be mighty and fast.

Turns out, those little things have to be repeated enough so they can add up to me being mighty.

Or at least mightier.