I have been thinking that I should be a lot further along.
Aren’t I supposed to be further along that where I stand?
I remember times that I”ve climbed a mountains. When I got tired and I’d look back at what I’d travelled and realize I had covered so much ground. So satisfying to see the snake of a trail that I’d walked bedhind me.
I did that. It gave me courage to push to the summit.
And this February, this week, I am looking backwards and I am seeing that I am just about exactly where I was last year.
Another surgery, another dose of radioactive iodine—and another despairing essay for my weekly wonder.
What am I supposed to look back on? It’s been a long long path.
Now I remember the labyrinth. So many time I’ve walked the labyrinth and felt the conufusing winding path that gives me hope and then takes it away again.
As I am looking for hope right now, I will shre with you and with myself a piece I’ve already written 12 years ago.
The center of the labyrinth–that is supposed to be the meaning, the goal and the reason. People have always had reasons and goals.
And that is why the labyrinth has been around so long. There is something to it.
I’ve walked these before. Somehow, though, that standing stone in the middle was different.
I wanted that rock. Up in the path, and it is right there. whoops, no, swing around to the left.
Don’t worry though. I will get there. Look, I am almost there.
Whoops, no, and again.
And THIS time I am walking all the way around a circle like I have nowhere to go or anything to care about and doesn’t matter because I’ll never get there anyway.
that rock
in the center
once I reach that rock in the center every desire I have will be fulfilled
and I want that rock
and it’s right there
but it
TAKES SO FREAKING LONG TO GET TO THAT ROCK!!!!!