All the world can be divided into categories. Each person has their own way of recognizing sameness in things. It’s well known that beauty is in the eye of the beholder.

It’s also true that the dark corner of everyone’s heart hides fear.

Who knows what fears lurk in the heart of men? What scares me today could seem insignificant tomorrow. And the opposite could be true the day after.

What am I to do?

When I was a kid, a neighbor loaned me a bike and we went riding around the neighborhood.

Riding through the corner gas station, he said “Don’t ride through that puddle, the gas might degrade the rubber tire.”

I nodded, and I kept the dreaded puddle right in my sights so I could avoid it. I rode straight through it.

NO!

When I focus on my fear, I aim straight for it. I’m the only one who knows what I’m afraid of, and that may very well be why I think I can deceive myself and others to hide from the fears.

I’ll never run out of reasons to be afraid.

That’s not the category to focus on. I’m turning my head to fill my eyes with beauty. My eyes, ears, my thoughts let me fill them with art.

I am re-reading Art & fear. The journey to making art is haunted by fear. Since I want the beauty, I must live through the fear.

Just as no one else can say what I am afraid of, no one can tell me what is beautiful. They both are part of what makes me an individual. Grappling with my fears gives me the power to express myself in art or brave actions.

And the brave act of making art enlarges my personhood, adding complexity with each attempt.

I’ll miss that puddle of gas the next time. I’ve learned to keep my head up as I’m riding.