Dispatched my civic duty

I finished deliberating in my first jury duty experience. Guilty.

The guy pushed his pregnant wife, holding their two year old, over a freeway bridge.

Pushed her once, she screamed, and he pushed her agian to finish the job. 34 feet down onto big rocks that surrounded the train tracks.

The unborn baby died. The mom and two year old survived.

Horrifically, the mother testified that the man did not mean to do it.

I was the foreperson for the jury. The ONE thing I had determined I would not do, and then I did become foreperson.

We deliberated for about a day, making 9 different decisions on 4 counts.

It was hard.

But the bad guy is going to jail-for attempting to murder his wife, for attempting to murder his two-year old, for murdering his unborn baby, and particularly because this was domestic violence and child-abuse.

I’ve been in this case since wednesday. I’m happy that we are done, and now I can sleep.

Last night, I woke up thinking of the dark walk up the cold overpass.

home improvement

In some ways, it’s good to know that things can be repaired. Some things get broken, and some things get raggy.

There was a spot along the front of my house that was getting raggy. The paint was peeling off, and even some ants were columning in and out.

So, I peeled off the paint the rest of the way. I cleaned it, and I sanded it. THen I cleaned it again. There were a lot of layers of paint. I figured i”d better put quite a few layers of primer on it. KILZ 2…Four layers.

Here is what it looked like:

IMG_7952

The perspective is a little hard to see. That patch of white paint is about 8 feet long. Four layers still left a ridge, but it did seal off the wood and the inside of the house from the invasion of ants.

I let it dry, and then I put the color on it.

This is what it looked like when I was done:
IMG_7953

A woman builds her house with her own hands, the proverbs says. And maybe she keeps it from falling down with her own hands too.

The justice league

It’s been a while since I’ve posted.

I’m serving jury duty for the very first time. It’s incredibly sobering, and it’s occupying a lot of my thoughts.

I am ORDERED not to talk about it.

Which makes it a little hard to do this blog. I am sorry readers. I hate to leave you hanging.

I’m not sure what to say.
…how bout these fires? Apparently,Southern California, including San Diego, is having a worse-than-usual fire season. Every year we have fires. but usual they dont’ happen all at once.

Chris, being a fan of both weather and the news, is glued to the TV.

I have a headache. Maybe it’s the hot, maybe it’s the smoke…Maybe i’m getting dehydrated from the lack of humidity.

What I’d like is a little escapist television. Since I can’t talk about what is on my mind…Let me get out of my head and relax.

I found some DVDs I bought on sale and hadn’t watched yet. Johnny Depp’s Charlie and the Chocolate Factory.

MASSIVE DISAPOINTMENT

I rewatched The Music Man. Always a delight.

Last night I asked Chris to watch with me (Step AWAY from the computer!) with the promise that he could pick any movie he liked.

Drums Along the Mohawk–IN TECHNICOLOR

that was pretty good. Although I did not find the main hero believable…Or Claudette Colbert believable. I did wonder though, if she was related to Stephen Colbert.

Well…That’s about all I can say for now. Maybe by the end of the week you can hear what all the fuss has been about. Maybe we’ll get to have a verdict then.

a tufa about talent

So I was listening to This American Life, and a girl was talking aboiut her terrible breakup. Her breakup was so bad that she spent months doing little other than listening to sad breakup songs. She was wallowing, and wanted to wallow. At last she decided that she must purge the endless wallow by compsoing her own breakup song.

She managed to get the email of Phil Collins, the author of her favorite breakup song “Against all Odds“. He wrote her back and they had a phone call about the tragedy of breakups and how to write a good breakup song.

I guess this is why the story is interesting enough to be put on the radio. Oh my gosh! Phil COLLINS! Giving this pathetic girl advice on how to write a break up song.

Phil Collins is very talented.

Talent can be debilitating to those around you. Like, after a concert, the incredible talent of the guy on stage can leave you weak kneed and speechless because you were that close to such an incredible talent.

And even a lesser talent…How about a school play, when the teenagers gave a killer rendition of “Our Town” or “Cyrano”? The other kids fawn and stand back with wide eyes, full of hero-worship.

There are kinds of talent that make people love you…That roll the red carpet out in front of you and make you a god.

But there are different kinds of talent. Or maybe different kinds of reactions to talent.

I ran across an article celebrating the 50th anniversary of Atlas Shrugged.

I love Rand’s books. I was telling a friend about Atlas Shrugged, and how when I read it, the book had me by the throat. I like to read, but this book was above and beyond. I was so into it, I was reading it at stoplights while driving.

She talks about the other kinds of talent. How some people can respond to talent by denying it and persecuting those who have it.

The talent of speaking his vision got Dr. King killed.

And then Jesus…I suppose you could argue that he was different, because he was the Son of GOD, but then again, maybe he was exactly the best example of that sort of talent.

Dagny, the heroine of Atlas Shrugged, first felt how it was to be treated for her talent. Her father owned the railroad. She wanted to work there, and started at the bottom to do it.

I will never forget this part of the book:

She took positions of responsibility because there was no one else to take them. There were a few rare men of talent around her. but they were becoming rarer every year. Her superiors, who held the authority, seemed afriad to exercise it, they spent their time avoiding decisions, so she told peopel what to do and they did it. At every step of her rise, she did the work long before she was granted the title. It was like advancing through empty rooms. NObody opposed her, but nobody approved of her progress.

The thing was, she was young as she was advancing in her career. Later, she began to see more of the world and how this particular incidence she had experienced was much broadspread.

I am not sure exactly why some talents are lauded and some persecuted.

It does charge the air, though, when it shows up.

JFK is talking

So while looking for new podcasts to listen to, I found some great speeches…JFK’s inaugural address.

It was very stirring.

“…The world is very different now. For man holds in his mortal hands the power to abolish all forms of human poverty and all forms of human life. And yet the same revolutionary belief, for which our forbears fought, are still at issue around the globe: the belief that the rights of man come not from the generosity of the states, but from the hand of God.

We dare not forget today that we are the heirs of that first revolution.

Let the word go forth from this time and place to friend and foe alike that the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans, born in this centruy, tempered by war, discplined by a hard and bitter peace, proud of our ancient heritage and unwilling to witness or permit the slow undoing of those human rights to which this nation has always been committed and to which we are committed today at home and around the world.”

I can’t help but wonder what those JFK and those people applauding his speech would say about the current sentiment of cut-your-losses in Iraq.

This speech is so full of strength and action. It is something to inspire before a battle, not to cover the shame of a retreat.

I always assumed that the people who held the peace placards were fans of Kennedy. But I have been hearing what JFK was about second-hard.

Makes me think

Kids these days!

“Listen to this!”

Chris had found a newspaper article about the latest teen craze:
Hannah Montana

Apparently, it’s a step above Lizzy McGuire, cum HIllary Duff…that pop sensation that has faded.

Billy Ray Cyrus’s daughter has a show about a girl who is a huge pop star that goes incognito to be a girl-next-door while she tries to finish high school.

And naturally, the kid is touring in real life. And all the teens are LEANING on their parents to get tickets. But these parental types have become very comfortable in their own homes and haven’t been to concerts in years. They don’t know that you have to get on ticketmaster THE SECOND the tickets are available and get as many as you can.

The scalpers know that you must. And they have even automated it.

So, all the tickets are gone. And the parents are MAD. They are complaining to disney about this.

I guess the scalpers got carried away. You have to leave a few crumbs, you know.

I heard that regular price is $60 bucks a ticket, but they are going for $200. And some as much as $3000!!!!

Okay. I’d never heard of little missy. I had to Youtube her.

You can too.

She seems like a cross between Saved By The Bell and Shania Twain. I’m sure it is potent stuff for the young.

And after admiring her hair and her outfits for a while, wondering if I would have worn the same things when I was…how old is she again?

But after the second video, I had to get away. I felt like i needed to be grown up again.

KT Tunstall made me feel right again. I would have, have and still would wear those boots.

A music nerd! Missy Hannah “Lip synch” Montana can go cash her check. I’m gonna listen to some music.

AFTERTHOUGHT
Saved by the Bell“? The loop seems to be tightening..That’s 90’s

A NEW CHAPTER AND A SNEAK PEEK

okay, so I’m trying to inspire myself to work on my book again. It’s been a while. but I REALLY want to finish it.

I managed to re-write a chapter and I decided to break precedent and post a little bit of it here.

——————————

As excited as we had been to get to Russia, we waited. Even before the plane landed, everyone had jumped up to get their bags out of the overhead bines. The fasten seat belt sign has still on, but it was not acknowledged. We couldn’t push past all the people clogging the aisle, and there was no way we could easily gather up our stuff to carry it out again.

So we waited. As tired as we were, it wasn’t that hard. I looked through the window to see Russia for the first time. It was totally dark outside. We left in the dark and landed in the dark.

But at last all the people were out of the plane. We huffed up out of our assigned seats and into the aisle, reaching down in to the footwell to excavate all the debris that we’d shed.

We humped all our stuff to baggage claim, and I looked up.

The high ceiling was molded into deep squares, with a Soviet star in the center. I had never seen anything like it. I tilted my head back and stared.

“Watch for the bags!” Mom warned me. I looked down to watch for the baggage. But everyone else was watching; they could handle it. I went back to taking in the ceiling.

“Okay, that’s everything.” Mom had gathered all the bags, and double checked that everyone had everything. Be needed to go to customs. Where was customs?

After much sounding out of posted signs, only to discover that none of them sounded like “Customs” or anything else recognizable. While we were fumbling around with our Russian-English dictionaries with no success, an official pointed us in a direction.

Once again we gathered all our things into a configuration that we could carry. A shuffling and handing off of this bag for another ensued.

But wait. What were they going to do to us in customs? What were we supposed to say? Should we be careful?

Customs was official. Customs were a kind of police or soldier. There were authorities—agents! This was Dangerous. Mom decided that Dad should speak for all of us, and we should say nothing. We agreed to this.

We said nothing as we carried all our things to the line. We held our bags silently as the cold-faced soviet official looked everything over. Dad handed them the papers we’d filled out on the plane.

We said nothing when the Soviet official barked out questions at Dad while pointing towards the bags. We looked on as Dad shrugged his shoulders and raised his palms up. The customs agents stared hard at him. Then they stared hard at us.
We said nothing as the customs agent waved us through. Close-mouthed, we pulled up all the things and walked through the door into the terminal.

Once inside, we disgorged all our things onto the seats with sighs and groans of relief. The bags, the coats and hats and scarves and carry-ons with all the bulging contents flung off us at last. Relief!

Mom gushed, “Norm, You were great. I was so afraid, but you handled it just right.” Her relief was broadcast to all the four walls.

We had passed the customs hurdle, but what had we gotten into? I desperately wanted get clean and into a bed to sleep. But we had made no arrangements. We were on our own.

I know this was going to happen. I knew it. We had nowhere to go, and no one to help us. We knew no one and nothing. Everything I had imagined about this defect in the plans was staring me in the face.

“Surely someone is looking for us. What about that college girl’s brother?” Dad said.

We were hoping some kid would show up and take care of us? Oh boy. Oh no.

He was still talking: “We’ll just wait for them to find us.”

“Orange?” Mom said, peeling off a segment.

What else could I do? I took the orange. I chewed it and stared at the ceiling some more. Alaska had shown me nothing like this. Plaster molded with stalks of what and sickles—and in the middle of every square section, a star. It looked old—in a glamorous way.

I hadn’t noticed that he left, but Dad had come back with a young man who could speak English. His name was Valyrie.

“Valerie?”

“No, Vah LEEE ree.” He was not sent from anyone. He and dad had just met. He said he helped people who traveled. A travel agent? He had offered to help dad find a hotel.

So of course, Dad had come back to get all of us and all our stuff and take it to the hotel. But when VaLEEree saw how many of us there were, and how very much stuff, he was taken aback. The new plan was for him and dad to go alone and get the hotel reservation, and once it was secured, come back for us and the stuff.

This was a bad idea. Who was this guy? If dad left the airport, could he get back in? We shouldn’t separate. But how could I say all this with the nice/creepy guy standing right there? I did my best to express my concerns to mom and dad without upsetting our new “friend”.

But away they went and Mom gave us slices of cheese and crackers.

I stared at the ceiling.

“Mom,” I asked. “Do you think Valyrie is helping us because he’s KGB?”

“Maybe.” She handed me another slice of cheese on a cracker.

“It’s 40 below outside!”

What? I must have fallen asleep. Dad was back with Valyrie, and they did look cold.

“…the power is out in the town, so it’s actually warmer just to stay here.”

Dad had to repeat this news to each of us as we came back together to hear the report. Then he had to repeat it to each of us again.

“It’s 40 below? And the town has no power? No HEAT?”

Valyrie said this happened sometimes. We made him repeat it also.

Since this was the situation, it seemed best to stay at the airport terminal. Even Valyrie was going to stay. I interpreted his reluctance to leave us as further evidence that he was KGB. Mom shared our cheese, oranges and animal crackers with him. He really liked the oranges.

His English was pretty good. We asked him the Russian name for everything in sight, and then moved on to phrases. When we couldn’t make out what he was saying, we made him write it down.

He was very nice about it, but as soon as he started writing, I realized I was going to have to learn Russian longhand. None of us could read it.

“Oh, I see. I beg your pardon,” he said. “Let me write it this way: COPOK MUHYC”

We all sounded it out. “Soh roak meee noose. Forty Below!”

I was already flipping through my Russian-English dictionary to see if the Russian word “meenoose” had the same array of meanings that the English “Minus” had, when I made another appalling discovery.

“I don’t know the alphabet!” I cried.

“What do you mean?” Valyrie said. “You were just reading the words.”

Sure, I knew the sounds of the letters. But I could not say them in order. How could I look anything up?

“What’s your song?” I demanded.

“Our song?”

“Yes, you must have a song.”

“We have many excellent songs…” he said.

“No, an alphabet song…Like this..’A B C D E F G’ ” I sang, and everyone joined in to sing the whole song. “….Next time won’t you sing with me.”

Valyrie clapped and asked us to sing it again. We did.

“That is a most excellent song. I can see it would be very useful.”

“What is your song?”

“Hmm… We have a song that starts the alphabet, but not one with the..mm…entire alphabet.”

This was going to be harder than I thought. I took out a page and wrote out the alphabet in order from the dictionary. I showed it to Valyrie, and he said it was right. Mom took it and tried to sing the names of the Russian letters to the tune of our Alphabet song.

“This doesn’t work.” She gave up. “There are too many letters.”

“Yeah,” I said, “and it’s hard to match LMNOP.”

The others had drifted away a while ago, and mom got up to look for them. I tilted my head back to stare at the ceiling again.

“Don’t you think this ceiling is beautiful?” I asked Valyrie.

“Hm…” he said. “I do not enjoy it. It reminds me of Stalin.”

“Stalin built this?”

“It was built in the time of Stalin.”

So he didn’t like Stalin. Maybe he wasn’t KGB after all. Perhaps he was an ordinary helpful citizen that would turn out to be a thief or rapist.

I decided that I should not be alone with him again.

humanity and immortality

What with celebrating Grandma Ruth’s 90th birthday

and with facing my own weakness and frailty last week…

I’ve been thinking about the Iliad, and most specifically Achilles

I confess, I have not completed read the Iliad. I want to…I’ve read part of it. I did get an excellent grade in my college class on the classics.

So, what I remember of this story is how Achilles was human. He was the son of an immortal goddess and a human king. And Achilles was going to die.

In fact, that was pretty much the dividing line between what was a god and what was human. Humans die.

Achilles railed against that dark night of death. He did not want to die, and he was resentful about it. The struggle that he had with this problem, as put forth in the poem the Iliad, pretty much set the tone for almost everyone that heard it.

What does it mean to be finite?

You can easily imagine that Achilles’ friend told him that as a mortal, he would have to see that glorious actions were the mortals path to immortality…the STORIES of his life would live forever, even if he did not.

So. Achilles struggled with his impending death and what he would be remembered for.

I know that Grandma Ruth has been considering her death and what will be left behind ever since her husband died. He died quite a long time ago.

And me…well…I’m not 90, but death has come up in my mind. As a child, we were taught to be ready to die for Jesus and a moment’s notice. You’d better be ready!

But this is grim. Who wants to think about it? It’s not a matter to discuss in polite conversation.

Except that Homer blew the subject wide open, with Achilles and his poem. Thank you Homer! and it wasn’t even a hand-wringing wussy sort of poem either. It’s full of brave men and the spurting blood of battle.

I don’t want to be grim, but this is part of humanity. It’s as mundane as doing the dishes.

Speaking of mundane, for the first time in my life, I have been called for jury duty. How have I managed to achieve this level of adulthood without experiencing this american civic call to duty?

I’ve never lived in one place that long. I am now more than two years at a single address. This is the longest I have lived in one place since I was a teenager.

And the job that I have, which seems to be the job I will keep into the far-distant future…is almost the longest I have ever worked in one place.

My life is narrowing. I can’t help but feel slightly nervous about it.

It’s a good thing. I tell myself that the narrowing is but a honing, a sharpening of a tool to a purpose.

Which is true. To accomplish, one must buckle down and focus on something. To have a thing, you must give up the possibility of other things.

These are the thoughts running through my head. and I really should start and finish the Iliad. I would probably be glad I did, once I finished.