Kings in the Corner

Games are fun. I like to play games. And let me say again, I like to PLAY games.

Some people take games very seriously. I know a great number of people (why are they always men? I know no women into these…Speak up if you know of any) who play these crazy complicated games. Games that make RISK look like “Go Fish.” Avalon Hill games, I call them. Avalon Hill no longer exists, it was bought out by someone or other.

But the games go on. Complicated moves that can take a WEEK. Forget it. I want to play a game.

On a search for a pack of UNO cards, I ran a across Kings in the Corner. Bought it too.

It was fun! I liked playing it. Chris and I played a couple games while we were watching TV. The perfect kind of laid-back game playing. I suppose we could have paid more attention to the strategy if we’d wanted to. But we didn’t have to.

It would work well for kids too. Check it out.

Aren’t they cute?

On my bus ride home, they were all cuddled up in the first seat. She was a large woman in a blue dress; he was a man in a short-sleeved plaid shirt with a hearing aid. His arm was all the way around her, as far as he could reach. She was giggling, and speaking in a kewpie doll voice, and his hands seemed to be wandering towards sesitive places.

They were old. She was very wrinkled, and so was he.

But they were so cute! They were flirty and giggly and terribly glad to be together.

Our culture says love is for the smooth-skinned young. Especially if you want to be publicly affectionate.

But culture doesn’t know everything.

This was my idea!

Business 2.0 – Magazine Article – My Makeover

For more than two years, McClelland has run Geek Boy Services, a one-woman makeover consultancy. Her target: the army of ungainly men who write our code and keep our servers running — many of whom, alas, now have a lot more free time on their hands than they used to and are in desperate need of outside interests. Or, at the very least, a date. Even in these lean times, McClelland says, her phone is ringing off the hook.

———

This was my idea! Well, the idea of me and all my girls in Silicon Valley back when I was still there.

Those of us who were single (and we all were at various times) really wished we could get those boys to clean up and open up.

Half the time, it was really a problem with the opening up more than the cleaning up. Just get comfortable with yourself! It was tiring running into the same dufusses with the same lines at the clubs. A shy smile from across the room was a huge attention-getter. Really.

But they had to speak when spoken to. Eye contact is critical too. Most of us have encountered the geek boy who cannot actually look directly at a female and speak at the same time. Or just look directly at a female. Or just speak.

Actually, I think I could do a better job than this woman. I’ve done a few freebies, and there are better ways to give men a “look” than just shoving your taste at them.

What’s your name?

You know that club of girls on the cartoon “Recess”? all of them are named “Ashley”?

That is so true! That happens all the time, when somehow a name gets mysteriously popular with EVERYONE for a year or so.

The government has a site about it. Alas, it only goes up to 1990, so those of us over the age of 13 will have to look elsewhere for our birth year.

My (nick) name Murphy does not hit the charts. My REAL name, Elizabeth, is WILDLY and enduringly popular.

No wonder I don’t use it.

But something else struck me. The most popular girls names have less incidences (girls named that name) than the most popular boys names. So, there are vastly more, like more than 10 THOUSAND more boys named the most popular boys name of the year than there are girls named the most popular girls name of the year.

The girls names are also substantially weirder. Did any of us see “Madison” becoming the rage? Suddently, it was everywhere.

But for males, Christopher, Michael and Joshua are inescapable. John has dropped off the top ten in the last decade, thank god. But not the top 20.

Anyway, I find it intriguing that males have far more name conformity than females, and their names are far more conservative, less risky. They don’t seem to get tricky or different names.

I wonder what implications this has. I wonder what it says about parents’ expectations for the roles that their male children and their female children will fill as they grow older.

I thumbed through the top 50 boys names, being struck by how vastly status quo all the names were. That is until I saw 2002 bringing in a new contender:
Angel

at number 46 in popularity.

You think that Buffy had something to do with it?

Asbestos can kill you!

I have a new set of things to worry about as a home owner. One of them is quite pleasant:
How shall I redecorate?

My condo is not new, so I have to be careful of old-school carcinogenic building materials. Which are probably lodged in the popcorn covering that is blighting my ceiling.

I want to take it off! One of the guys at work (who also told me how to replace a toilet) told me it’s really easy: just spray it with water and scrape it off.

“But what about asbestos?” I asked.

“Psh! You don’t need to worry about that.”

But I do worry. I had to research it.

Know what I found out?

He was right!

The EPA and osha basically say that if you keep it sufficiently wet, asbestos-containing materials cannot become airborne, so they can’t be breathed in and give you asbestositis, which is basically asbestos induced lung cancer.

They don’t even say you have to wear a mask; just make sure the material is sufficiently wet.

I’m gonna have to pick the color to paint the ceiling now!

Summer’s Over

So this is it. The first day back at work after Labor day. Most kids are in school, and it makes the rest of us remember when we WERE in school and we feel like buckling down and getting some work done.

But where did the summer go?

What did YOU do with your summer vacation?

I went to 2 free shakespeare plays, that was wonderful. I took a trip to Germany, also wonderful.
AND I went to the state fair.
The biggest thing I did this summer was buy a condo.

I guess that’s about it.
There were a lot of things that I wished I could have done.
I wish I had gone to the beach.
I wish I had hiked more.
I wish I had gone to a raucous rock concert. I did go to the symphony, but that is a different thing altogether.
I wish I had danced more. I dont’ think I danced at ALL. wow. that’s not right.

But this is not the only summer I have. I can do all those things in the fall as well. My time is pinched by earning a living, so I have to enjoy the other good things in life in between.

Maybe I”ll get down to the work of having fun this fall.

walking in the garden

I finally visited Descanso Gardens. Chris has been bugging me to do this for a long time, maybe the entire year I’ve been here. It’s not that I didn’t want to, it’s just having the time and energy.

For both of us.

Today, we went at last. It was so beautiful! The Rosarium, and the Camellia forest, and the Japanese tea house with Bamboo. We saw so many flowers! There is also an audobon bird observatory, where they provide a telescope to look at birds that are far away.

We looked to see an Egret, with long black, knock-kneed legs.

There was a waterfall, in the middle of the redwoody and ferny part. Later on, we saw some extremely placid deer, who kindly let us take a lot of pictures of them. We were respectful and did not make sudden movements, but even so, they were extremely patient.

at the end of our three or four hours there, we decided to join. That way we get in free for a year. We had to pay their fee, but it is so close to where I live, that I think it will be worth my while.

We didn’t even see half of it.

Politics

This recall of the California Governor has us thinking about the ridiculousness of politics.

I have other reasons to think about politics:
PERSONAL politics

Things can get so scary so fast between people. Misunderstandings build up and then become an impenetrable wall.

Sometimes you can walk away.
Sometimes you can’t.

I try to go back, chase the tangled ends of the thread. What happened? What went wrong? What did _I_ do, so I don’t do it again?

HOW can I fix it?

When I was younger, I was convinced that I would be able to fix these things. That I would work HARD and FIND the problem and MAKE IT RIGHT.

As I get older, I realize that what I had formerly thought of as apathy in those around me was not quite that. To state it right out:
Sometimes, you just have to let things go, do nothing and let time ease you past.

Because that can really work sometimes! Amazing how so little effort can actually result in a big payoff.

But it doesn’t work all the time.

So I’m back to pulling on the threads of the knotty problem.
Do I leave it alone?
Or do I worry it a bit longer?

I don’t know.

What I _do_ know is that I’ve run across this problem before. And I also know that if you see a problem twice, the thing that is the same about those two problems is YOU. So what have I done to cause this problem?

was I just worrying it again?

These things make me so uncomfortable.

The State Fair!

I spent the weekend at the California State fair. I love the fair! I was a little 4-Her when I was young. I had pigs, cows, rabbits and a big dog.

Not all at the same time.

But I would take my animal to the fair and put it in the show and see if I could win something. When you take your animal to the fair, you have to stay and take care of it. So I would be there all week long taking care of my crittur and seeing all the sights.

I got to see everything, since I was there all week. Because I was exhibiting, I got it free!

Fairs are pretty much as good as the community they are in make them. I thought that the state fair would be much larger than the Los Angeles County Fair, which I visited last year.

It really wasn’t, but it was pretty good. I saw a 600 pound performing pig, I learned how to milk a cow or a goat. I saw bunnies and cows. No pigs or sheep though. They were the week before.

We were all looking for the Deep Fried Twinkies, but they had vanished. My brother saw Deep Fried Oreos, though.

I settled for Funnel Cake.

The food at the fair seemed to be anything “on a stick.” There was Catfish on a stick, frozen cheesecake dipped in chocolate on a stick, chinese food on a stick.

This made us consider how you could put other kinds of food on a stick. I thought that a yarn-like skien of noodles would be good.

Then, the problem of how to make nachos on a stick was tackled: make it a thick stick, with a plunger that could be used to push up the cheese sauce onto the tortilla chips, which would be arranged around the stick like a pine tree.

Next year, we’ll need a booth.

Can I get a witness

My new bus route is a little scarier than the old one. It starts out in a nice area (the area where I live..Imagine! me in a nice area!) but then heads off into the hinterlands of silverlake and echo park.

There are more interesting specimens of humanity on this route. Last week, there was a pungent gentleman with a huge growth on his thigh. I’m sorry, but it made me ill. I couldn’t even look at him. The thing was, though, he was yakking up a storm with the driver. Hard to ignore.

Yesterday, on the way home, the bus was really full. People were getting on and off, and sometimes people had to stand. There was a beautiful older Asian woman holding onto the rail at one point. I thought, Maybe I should stand up and let her have my seat. But then I realized that the seat next to me was empty anyway. She could sit if she wanted to.

And then she did. She sat right next to me. And she turned to me, trying very hard with all the small bit of English she could muster, asking if I knew Jesus.

I stifled a spasm of laughter, and told her yes, I did.

“Are you go to Heaven when you die?”

“I hope so,” I told her.

That was chink enough in my armor! She plunged in with her evangelical message. God Bless her, she was extremely earnest, if rather unintelligible.

Don’t you love that evangelical certitude that they are hell-proof? 100% inspected, guaranteed brimstone- and hellfire-free, just sign on the dotted line. Extra credit and jewels in your celestial crown if you can shed a tear or two.

I remember beginning those witnessing classes when I was 14. Evangelism courses at the church on weekday nights, teaching us to be brave and uninhibited about butting in on people. They had pre-fab answers for ALL the possible excuses people gave for not asking Jesus into their hearts.

Each excuse had a folded tract explaining and dismissing it. Things like, “What about all the pygmies in Africa who haven’t heard about Jesus? Are they going to hell?” Of course! and here’s a tract about it.

Most of the questions in the set of tracts were ones I’d never thought of. I was a little worried about them, for a minute or two. But then I had much bigger things to be worried about-I actually had to approach strangers and wrangle them into saying the Jesus prayer.

Years later, I would run into these “Are you going to Heaven?” roadblocks. I thought I should give them a little thrill. Ever hear of a secret shopper? The random customer that goes to the stores and checks out the customer service? I was the secret sinner!

I’d give these evangelical wannabees a line they shouldn’t be able to refuse, “So, if I wanted to become a Christian, what would I have to do?”

They would wig out. “Umm…Um…You should read this..!”

“Well, okay, but can’t you just tell me?”

“You should come to our meetings, they could explain it a lot better.”

Both these things went along with the same training I’d recieved: push out literature, and get them to come to church. But I was disappointed, why didn’t they try to move in for the kill? It was humiliating to know that I was probably as inept a missionary as they were.

I had actually realized this at the time. In the middle of trying to evangelize my hometown, I figured out that this was not the way to do it. Mostly, my efforts were rebuffed, and the very few times I managed to “lead someone to the Lord,” we would smile blissfully at one another for a moment afterwards and never see them again. “Hey it was nice to meet ya! See you in Heaven!”

It was so not fair! How did they get off so easy? I had to go to church and give up worldly things all the time. THEY just got off scot free. Happy on their merry way.

I had my doubts about that being all there was. Did it count, if you just said a prayer once, and then lived your life no different?

Besides, it seemed wrong to just walk up to strangers. Shouldn’t we be friends with people? Show them love and be involved in their lives? Why should they listen to a total stranger? We lacked credibility, I thought.

The evangelism class instructors admitted that “friendship evangelism” was the most effective kind. But that put me in a bind-I wasn’t allowed to know anybody that wasn’t a Christian.

Back to the mall with my wallet of tracts. That is, until I gave up on the whole idea as flawed. Tracts weren’t in the bible! Knocking on the doors of people’s home and staying completely uninvolved with their lives was wrong.

That still didn’t mean I was allowed to make friends with them. Because they would drag me down into their sinful ways. One bad apple makes all the rest rotten! Despite my protestations, I was defenseless before the evil lure of the world.

It’s been a while since I’ve been witenessed to. I almost thought it had gone out of style. I asked the woman on the bus where she was from.

“Korea!” she said.

“Where do you go to church?” I asked.

“Presbyterian.”

“Which presbyterian?”

It took a while for her to understand what I meant. She at last told me it was a presbyterian church on Wilshire.

After a moment more of her discussing the perils of sin and death, I tried to let her off the hook. I told her I’d known about Jesus for a long time, ever since I was a child.

“You go to church?”

“yes!” I said.

“Presbyterian or Baptist?”

I wonder why she picked those two denominations in particular? I told her Orthodox, which did not satisfy her. She gave me a japanime-looking cartoon tract which spelled out exactly what I needed to do to go to heaven. She had a selection of several languages.

I read it as she sat next to me silently. It was hard not to laugh out loud. The girl and the boy and the talking dog were pretty funny. The dog really was rooting for the boy to go to hell. And the girl wouldn’t get “involved” with the boy until he got saved.

I finished it before she got off, and I was thinking I should maybe hand it back to her. But I thought she might be offended.

She handed the bus driver another one as she got off.