I’m going to get preachy, just a little bit.
Funny, I’m almost always preachy. But I guess the sermon isn’t a sermon ’til we get to chapter and verse.
That verse talks about asking for things.
If your child asks you for something, something that is good for them and not bad for them, you give it.
Kids usually know when the yes is assumed. Yes, it is assumed that they can have a glass of water. A can of soda…maybe not. Yes, they can read a book. Can they watch that TV show? maybe not.
But for good things, they answer is usually yes. So much a yes, that the question is not always asked.
It is assumed that the answer will be yes. Parents set the answer machine to ‘yes’.
But there are other times when the answer machine is set to ‘yes’. My neighbor had confided in me that it was a problem for her, to refrain from ‘yes’ when people asked her for help.
Because there are times when yes is not the right answer.
For your children, for your spouse, the yes should be assumed.
But everyone else…case-by-case basis.
I used to be much more about the yes. But…it was abused at a young age. There were so many things that were assumed I would go along with, that the question was never asked.
Did I want to? the thought didn’t have a chance to germinate before I was doing it.
And it could get easily tangled. Was it my problem that I did not acquiesce to the unasked? It was assumed that I surely was in agreement.
But since I reached the age of accountability, I was able to contemplate all sorts of other things I wanted to do, things that I would have liked to ask for and hear yes to.
This made me hyper aware of when things were assumed. Yes, I can see that it was assumed I would clean the microwave at work.
My ‘yes’ was assumed.
But just because it is assumed doesn’t mean that it has to be given. I can not do things now, because my volition is entirely within my own power.
HOORAY FOR BEING AN ADULT!
I get to choose.
And there are things that I do choose to say yes to.
And things I don’t.