You have to be 35 to be president.
Like a boundary marker, this one stands out.
Most of adulthood is unmapped. There are sea monsters and dragons in the blanks. I will have to fill in those spaces with discoveries from my own discoveries and interpretations.
My year and a half of cancer fighting is behind me, but the experience jolted the timeline and I fell into an alternate universe. I was poisoned which made me sick and stupid and I was not myself.
But the fight is behind me, right?
Isn’t it?
I am trying to populate in the part where I merge back.
Is it there a back to get to? Or did the reroute of the integration plan take me to a completely new alternative universe?
What familiar milestones would tell me if I am on the map of myself?
I already wrote about this experience making me 80 years old before my time. I want to exit the era of premature elderliness and become the age I am now.
Somehow, though, the current moment remains unmapped.
I’m turned around and lost track of the landmarks.
When it comes to adulthood, there is a literature on how to live your life and achieve goals.
Some books say ‘remember what you liked to do when you were little. The child person was able to be joyful and not hesitate to do fun things.’
I can have fun, sure. But even as a little kid I did have people I wanted to stay connected to, that took care of me and whom I took care of.
I’m thinking of that 35-year-old. That person might be thinking about becoming president. More frequently, that person is not on the presidential track. Either way, a 35-year-old is expected to be capable of read a situation and make choices.
I meet that requirement to be president, even if I’m not running. I will have to be the leader of myself, although I do feel lost and turned around. I’d better look for the sea monsters to avoid
This is unfamiliar territory, and it’s not what I expected. Nevertheless, I will have to identify or create the milestones that let me know what I’m aiming towards. I have to look for the treasure islands I want to land on.