After I gave birth I was laid so low. I didn’t expect to be so messed up. I could barely walk, and my body was going through all kinds of rehabilitation.

That was 10 weeks ago tomorrow. 10 Weeks! That might as well be a year. And yet. My body is not recovered yet. I am surprised again by how much time and biological effort it takes for my body to recover. My joints are not there yet; they still feel quite a bit like they did when I was still pregnant. And my muscles (particularly my back and tummy area)  seem to have started a new kind of soreness. Maybe that’s because they are hoisting themselves back into the upright position, which would be nice.

Even after I wake up fully rested and on my own–not by a baby’s cry–I am so sore and tired. Which surprises me. I thought it would be over now.

Chris will be back within the hour. Two things have changed in his abscence. One, she’s developed a particularly scary cry, a muted strangulation sound. It’s quiet, but it’s upsetting.

More happily, Veronica has been gaining success at sucking her hand. The eye-hand coordination is emerging. I think it’s pretty cute:

We had a busy day in the world that revolves around Veronica.

To begin with, the afternoon was her two-month doctor visit. We were looking forward to this because we would find out how much she weighs (and more importantly, how much she’s gained) and how long she is. The downside: she would have to be immunized and get stuck with a needle.

But before we got to the doctor, she surpised me by not waking up for a feeding. I put her to sleep at 9:30 ish and she didn’t wake me up until 7.

No feeding all night! I woke up a little before she did, and thought about what to do. She cried at 7 AM. See, if she’d cried at 4 AM or even 5AM I would have fed her. But 7AM? I was going to feed her at 9….and I am trying to wean her off of night feedings.

I gave in and fed her a teeny bit. Maybe just a half-ounce. Then I stuck the pacifier in her mouth which seemed to satisfy her. I held her a little longer and put her back in the crib.

THAT is where the morning looked like most other mornings. I am determined that she shall learn that the crib is where she spends her time until I say (because I am the adult and I know what’s best for her). And I say that she can’t get up until 12 hours (or so) after I’ve put her down the ngiht before.

Which means that I have to go back into the room and comfort her, soothe away the tears and leave. Sometimes she cries as soon as I shut the door. Sometimes it can be 10 minutes before she starts again. Sometimes the soothing takes and she falls asleep for 20-45 minutes.

But the books say, wait for 5 minutes before you go BACK in and comfort her. For the most part, I do. And I believe that she will learn to stop crying on her own and stay in her crib from 9-9 (ish) every day.

So, today, I had to go back and forth for quite a while, until about 8:20 when the sleep took hold and she slept until 9:15

WONDERFUL!

Then we had our morning constitutional with the dog up to Foothill and she was in a fabulous mood all morning. She took a tiny nap in her crib (laying groundwork for the morning nap habit I will facilitate after we get the 12 hours worked out).

Then feed her and go to the doctors.
Here are her stats:
22.5 inches long
9 pounds, 7.2 ounces

I forget how big around her head is, but they measured that too. What this means is that we have a skinny baby. I knew that already. She is apparently in the 25th percentile for weight. I will have to be careful to give her as much food as I can when I feed her.

The vaccines were painful. She cried hard for the first one, and HARDER for the second one. She was crying so hard she went hoarse, which made me cry too. I put all her clothes back on and hugged and kissed her. She fell asleep in her carrier, and I laid her down for a nap in her crib when I got home.

This time though, because I felt she’d had a hard day, I did not wait the 5 minutes to go comfort her when she woke up to cry. I sat in the room there with her for a while, which she likes, until she was fully asleep.

You can probably guess, by this long post, she is still asleep there.

Hmm…Let me see if I can put up a new photo of cuteness for my readers. Let’s see.

Here is her wearing a little hoody and she prepares to go to church on a rainy day. Yesterday, in fact, which was her birthday:

And this is aone of her having fun with Daddy:

It is hard to capture, but she is growing cuter and more adorable by the day.

So, it’s been a few days of my baby sleeping through the night. She goes down between 8:30 and 9:30 and gets one feeding somewhere between 4 and 6 (later and later as the days go by). Then she goes back to sleep until about 8.

That means not only that I am gettign 8 hours of sleep regularly, I also have a couple hours a day for me.

For ME.

when I first figured that out I had personal time, I took a hot bath. With Epsom salt.

But since then, I have felt kind of at loose ends. What do I do with only a teeny bit of a little time each day?  I had gotten so good at being all about my baby, I am not sure what to do now.

Interestingly, I have not felt the desparate need to blog as I had when I had nothing else going on.

small small margins have returned to the pages of my days.

Instead of this little child taking 110% of me, it is now down to 95…maybe…

So today is 7 weeks of Veronica. Seven is supposed to be the number of completion, or something.

I’ve learned a lot. So has she.

I most recently learned that a good answer to a newborn that fights sleep is to swaddle her in a straight-jacket style blanket wrap. She’s sleeping better now.  And so am I.

I used to joke with Chris that after we had a kid, even though we wouldn’t be able to do some of the things that we did THEN, we would have a new hobby.

I think it is only slightly beginning to dawn on me that this level of absorption, this keen and detailed interest in my new daughters life, will not really abate. That she is gonna occupy a huge portion of my thoughts for the rest of my days.

It’s just a matter of finding the right sort of balance.