Yesterday was 8 weeks. She’s getting so old! I will have to stop counting in weeks now and use months.
She’s been smiling at me for a while now…But she’s shy of the camera. I caught this one last night:
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Mug Shots
This whole fighting sleep thing might be part of a new spurt of development. She is super interested in seeing the things around her.
God knows what all these things actually look like to her. But boy, she want to see everything. The experts say that faces and bright colors are particularly intersting to her.
So, I took a toy I call Honky Dog (because it’s a dog and it’s legs honk when squeezed) and hung his face over her playpen.
She gave him a very good once over:
I think she might be able to pick him out of a lineup now.
It takes a little time sometimes
It’s been a little tough the last few days, trying to figure out what this child wants from me. She’s been moderately fussy, and when she cries for what seem to be long jags at a time, I really had nothing.
Like I told my friend, “She doesn’t know how to do very many things. She can grab your finger. She can look at her mobile. She can suck her pacifier. Other than that, it’s eat sleep and fill her diapers.”
I knew that at some point, babies were supposed to be able to imitate faces that we make at them. So i tried it. I stuck my tongue out at her. It took her a few times, but
SHE STUCK HERS OUT AT ME!
it wasn’t just an accident either. Once she figured out it was our game she smiled and laughed when I put my tongue out.
It’s a whole new world.
Just when you think you’ve got it
So the child, who has been doing pretty good as have I, turned out to have picked up thrush from me, on her way into the world.
Then, she gave the infection back to me. Suffice it to say, it has jacked up my ability to feed her in comfort. It took me a long time to figure out what was wrong; what with all the other things that being a mother entails, I just thought that this pain was ‘normal’ and I would get over it.
But no. I managed to get a doctor to look at both of us, and she says I can’t breast feed for at least a week.
oh man. That news was not welcome. I had just got the hang of this routine!
SO, we had to run and get some formula, and have the crisis of what type of bottle/nipple combination would keep the child from turning away from me when we got back to breast feeding. We managed that.
BUT! I also have to find a way to pump lots of times a day to keep my milk supply from drying up completely. I have been dreading and needing to figure out how to do this.
So, since yesterday I managed to pump twice. I think I could get the hang of it, I guess. But my routine now is necessarily changed a little.
Every little thing seems so charged with importance when it comes to this little helpless child. I don’t like doing new things. But this will probably work out. I guess that gives me a new milestone to look forward to. The return of breastfeeding!
There is a lot of room to grow
So, last night was decent as far as sleep goes.
But the night before was really bad. And when I have a bad day, tunnel vision is a real problem. Whatever is happening right then feels like it’s going to be the way it will be forever. I know it’s not true, but it feels very very true.
Chris was kind, and we went on a walk together. He held the dog’s leash and I pushed the stroller almost like it was a walker. Veronica slept.
I said “I don’t know how things are going to get from here to where we need to be. How will I possibly be able to go back to work? and I have to go back to work.”
“Things will work out. Remember, you are only a quarter of the way through the time between when she was born to when you go back to work. It will be okay.”
only a quarter of the leave is through. That’s not very much. She already can do a lot more than she could a few weeks ago. I can leave her happily in a chair or a swing for long stretches of minutes at a time while I eat or do dishes or laundry or even *gasp* read a little.
So last night I got more sleep, and I am feeling even more hopeful about how this will work out.
Still March April and May to get ready to do what needs to be done. I can have faith that by that time, things will be ready. That -I- will be ready.
a month
and as is traditional for her birthdays, we did n ot sleep much last night
But she is more mature, and I am tougher. So, I could handle it better.
She is so much bigger and changed since the day she was born. I wonder what the next weeks will bring
My darling child is learning to let me sleep
An undeserved boon; she has the right to demand feedings every three hours, but she has started to sleep for four hours during the night.
This morning, she lay awake and made little cooing noises from about 7 to 8, which I managed to sleep through,and then ate for an HOUR. VERY polite of her, and I am surprised her little tummy could actually take that much food in.
She is growing fast.
Here is an encore of cuteness:
She makes good frownies
I think her forehead muscles are far more developed than her neck muscles at this stage. But I do think all her frowns are cute:
She’s a young thing and cannot leave her mother
About a week and a half ago, I was losing my mind at how intensely difficult it is to take care of a newborn. No minute of any hour was mine. I was frantic, and wondered if anything would ever be easy again.
I had fantasies, back when I was bloatedly pregnant about what I would do as soon as I had delivery the child:
1. Take a hot bath
2. Take long walks with the dog
3. BEND OVER
4. Drink a glass of wine
But then she arrived and everything was so far away. A BATH! Give me a break! I was surprised i had time to comb my hair.
As for enjoying a glass of wine…I said to my mom “I would love to sit down and have a cup of tea. But there is a mountain between me and a cup of tea that I simply cannot climb right now. I can’t do it.”
Mom came down and helped me out. And she held the child while I had that cup of tea. In fact, she came down two weekends in a row.
But now she’s gone, and has to stay gone for a while because she has her own life in Sacramento. But somehow, a combination of the child getting older and me getting more experience in how to handle this (mentally and physically), I can see that things might be doable.
I didn’t say easy. Just doable.
So, as a matter of fact, my little child is sorta sleeping in her carry seat–she is okay with not being held ALL the time now–and I have just made myself a cup of tea.
Doable. A smaller mountain.
The Cat holds his opinion about family changes
The dog is used to our child now. But some people have asked what the cat thinks of the little one:
Basically, he’ll adjust.