What Spock taught me about eating Elephants
I listed to one of my favorite podcasts yesterday:
FatFreeFilm
I used to work with Joel, and I really love the interviews he does on this series. This latest one features Leonard Nimoy.
SPOCK! I LOVE SPOCK!
So I was pretty excited to hear the show. It was great, and at the end, during the “film bites” segment, Spock (sorry, Leonard, you’ll always be Spock to me) had some advice.
Speaking of the overwhelming task of producing, funding, and generally making a film [I paraphrase]:
Think of an elephant. If you had to eat an elephant in one day, you couldn’t manage it. But if you took one bite out of the elephant every day, with time, you will finish the elephant.
That’s a very encouraging thought.
I just wish it didn’t seem like I had a herd of elephants.
Show Mercy to the Slender Grass
Thanks to the WSJ again, I get to be amused.
It turns out that China has become embarrased about their bad translations. There are all sorts of signs and things with English translations that are…well…pretty funny.
Some are kind of incomprehensible, but some are nice. Their English for “Don’t Walk On the Grass” is “Show Mercy to the Slender Grass.”
They are not alone. I still giggle when I remember the sign the cleaning people put up after they’d shampood the carpets and they were still wet:
BE CAREFUL OF SLIP AND FALL
what first language resulted in that ESL sign? The cleaning people spoke spanish, but the sign was a printed form, so maybe they bought a bunch of them from asia at a discount. Hard to say.
We live in a complex world.
But China will be hosting the Olympics and have decided to clean up their language. There are language police going around and giving fix-it tickets to cities and restaurants, etc. for their bad english.
Of course there are fans of this sort of thing. Check this out:
www.chinglish.de
Questions that must be asked…
Why is the history channel playing “Planet of the Apes”?
Jr. High-type questionnaire
They had these in Jr. High. I used to get them also when email was newer.
Because I am not feeling like plumbing profundity for a post, I will share it with you all:
1. What time did you get up this morning? 4:45–I like to start driving to the gym at 5:30, and that USED to mean I got up at 5, and quickly got dressed & brushed my teeth, fed and injected to cat, grabbed my gym bag and drove away.
Now, with Lucy-Puppy in my life, the morning takes longer. I must still do all the above, but first I must let Missy Puppy out to pee, pet her, run her around, take her in, feed her (which currently requires continuous petting all the while so she will get proper nutrition and grow big and not stunted), take her out again, this time to poo (if she hadn’t done so earlier–and sometimes again even if she has), scoop said poo up into plastic gocery bag, take bag-o-poo to the trash, run Lucy around some more, then lock her into her crate.
That meant I had to get up earlier.
I’m glad tomorrow is saturday.
2. Diamonds or pearls? What are you kidding? Both
3. What was the last film you saw at the cinema? Happy Feet
4. What is your favorite TV show? Right now? House
5. What do you usually have for breakfast? i cup GO LEAN kashi high protein and fiber cereal with 1 cup skim milk
..but I just finished a donut that my sabatuer co-worker brought in
7. What is your middle name? May, which is a derivative of my grandmother’s middle name. My grandmother, I, and my oldest cousin on my mom’s side all have the same middle name, but spelled different. I am not sure how the others spell their name. I think Mae and Maye. But I don’t know for certain.
8. What food do you dislike? bland food…and kinda don’t like beef, but maybe because it is often bland
9. What is your favorite CD at the moment? Royksopp and Andy Bell…yes, that is two.
10. What kind of car do you drive? 1997 Audi A4. Stick-shift. Looked hard to find a stick shift
11. Favorite sandwich? peanut butter is good, but I am trying not to eat sandwiches
12. What characteristic do you despise? dishonesty
13. Favorite item of clothing? I really like the mechanic-style coveralls that I got for doing my work.
14. If you could go anywhere in the world on vacation, where would you go? I would like to take the Queen Elizabeth 2 transatlantic cruise
15. What color is your bathroom? blue and grey.
16. Favorite brand of clothing? not a brand whore. I like thrift store clothes
17. Where would you retire to? I have a feeling I will never retire. And I never want to move again. I’ll be staying in Claremont with Marshmallow man.
18. What was your most recent memorable birthday? I have had a very good string of birthdays lately. This last one kinda sucked though, cause Chris was sick
19. Favorite sport to watch? Basketball! Go Lakers!
20. Furthest place you are sending this? the end of the universe. It’s the internet!
21. Who do you least expect to send this back to you? whatever
22. Person you expect to send it back first? No one
23. Favorite saying? This is a good one.
A Long while back, I was talking to super-cool-friend Char-Lez about the annoyingness of saying “Thank You!” as a prequel to goodbye.
The conversation (often on the phone) goes:
…and so that’s settled.”
“Thank you!”
“thank you!”
Click. EOM
Okay, who’s thanking who for what? Why should I say “Thank you!” when I am the one who should be the recipeint of gratitude? It renders the thanks meaningless, and also trivialized whatever effort was expended on behalf of whoever.
Not to mention the annoying sing-song way the phrase takes on through repetition.
So, I talked about wanting another sign-off phrase, and he suggested “Take Care!”
As he put it, “That is under the radar, because it can mean two things.”
Hmm…very good…because if the person is someone I like, and I want them to take care of themselve with tenderness, it works.
But if the person is someone who should learn a few manners, it could mean “Take care not to piss me off again!”
So, I use it all the time now. It is the Murphy Standard.
Take Care, everybody!
24. When is your birthday? 1-1-73
25. Are you a morning person or a night person? If I could ever leave sleep deprivation behind, I might like nights better. But mostly I’m too tired, and morning is when I get things done.
26. What is your shoe size? 8.5
27. Pets? Skellig the cat and Lucy the puppy
28. Any new and exciting news you’d like to share with us? I’m getting married this year!
29. What did you want to be when you were little? A ballerina and everything. I wrote a song about it
30. How are you today? Wondering how guilty I should feel for eating the donut
31. What is your favorite candy? wow…so many. Butterfingers…Skor…Reese’s peanut butter cups..Twix…See’s!
32. What is your favorite flower? hmm…I am really into plants. I like a variety, nicely arranged (usually by self)
33. What is a day on the calendar you are looking forward to? Today, actually. My brother is coming to visit!
34. What church do you attend? St. Anne’s Orthodox Church in Pomona
St. Anne is Mary’s mother. She’s on the far right, but you can’t see her.
The kid’s table during coffer hour. Note redbeard Kevin and black-suited AJ sitting there. They know they are too mature to sit with the kids, but the adults are too boring.
33. What is your full name? Elizabeth May Horner…Soon to be Elizabeth May Daley…but really, Murphy Daley…That’s a lot of y’s…Apropos…
34. What are you listening to right now? Bangles
35. What was the last thing you ate? dang…that donut will not leave me alone.
36. Do you wish on stars? Yes, but only with the verse..
Star light
Star Bright
First star I see tonight
Wish I may
Wish I might
Have the wish I wish tonight
Unless, it’s a falling star. Then the trick is to think of a wish before the star is done falling.
37. If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Black
38. How is the weather right now? Blue Sky, and its supposed to get warmer
39. Last person you spoke to on the phone? my brother
40. Do you like the person who sent this to you?Nicole is fabulous…And I love her blog
41. Favorite soft drink? diet grapefruit
42. Favorite restaurant? locally? Espiau’s
43. Hair color? reddish brown…maybe totally red now. I’m trying to cover the alarming profusion of gray
44. Sibling? 3 older brothers
45. Favorite day of the year? hmm…I like Easter.
46. What was your favorite toy as a child? Roller skates…and I liked audio equipment
47. Summer or winter? Fall
48. Hugs or kisses? Hugs
49. Coffee or tea? Tea
50. Chocolate or Vanilla? Chocolate
51. Do you want your friends to email you back? Yes
52. When was the last time you cried? I cry all the time. But I don’t think I’ve cried this week.
53. What is under your bed? Chris keeps finding socks under there. And probably some folded blankets
54. Who is the friend you have had the longest? Telissa…Kindergarten was a long time ago
55. What did you do last night?
Ran around like a crazy person, trying to keep up with Lucy, and then when she went to sleep, trying to get clothes and gym bag ready for the morning
56. Favorite smell? Love smells…I love the smell of Chris, but he is almost always incredibly clean and therefore not very pungent. I have to get up close…But maybe that’s part of why I like it!
57. What are you afraid of? Not making the most of every second
58. Plain, buttered, or salted Popcorn? Buttered and salted..
59. How many keys on your key ring? 6
60. How many years at your current job? a year and a half
61. Favorite day of the week? Saturday
62. How many towns have you lived in? 15, with three repeats ( lived in Sunnyvale twice (three addresses), Wasilla twice, and Anchorage twice(8 addresses)). I’m never moving again.
63. Do you make friends easily? no..but I start intimate conversations very easily…You’d think I could land the friend deal, but no
64. How many people will you be sending this to? the world
65. How many will respond? I have no idea
66. Did you notice that 33 and 34 were repeated? No
cross the palm with silver
In the WSJ, front page, there is an article about Siemens getting caught in bribery scandal.
A good portion of the world uses bribery as a matter of course. We, the “western democratic” countries, say that’s bad and we can have no part of it.
Shame on Seimens! Don’t they know, they are supposed to hire an intermediary company that does the bribery for them? Then the intermediary can disband before they get caught, re-form as a different company, and do the whole thing over again.
Hypocrisy makes the world go round. How many times has the world changed because someone wagged a finger at it and said “Shame! Shame!”
I have long thought that any MBA that includes international business should have a Bribery 101 class.
It’s not just puppy love
I’m telling you folks, between these two, I may never leave home again.
It’s hard to even go to work in the morning.
Strong women and men
It is a constantly running train of thought, but here lately it’s been on my mind—the difference between men and women.
I love men. And I love being a woman. It seems to me that these two, when done right, are very complementary.
I know Chris and I work together very well. We have great love and respect for one another, and we manage to do really well on the various projects and entertainments we take up.
There are other men I have known on the job, who I can really click with, who give me respect and collegial affection. I’ve love working with them and miss them terribly when I’ve had to move on.
What is it that men and women give each other? It’s so much more than just procreation. We are broader than that. What, really, do we need each other for?
Of course, need is relative. Do I NEED to go to the gym and work out in the morning? Not really. NEED is for survival. Food, shelter, air.
But perhaps I am too stoic. Perhaps, for the time being, I can count the survival as a given, and set the bottom standard a little above DEATH.
About 8 years ago, I came to the conclusion that it is best not to need anyone for anything. That I am responsible for myself and myself alone. I wanted to be independent and able to get whatever I needed. I didn’t want to have to wait for someone else to get me what I needed.
It turns out I was very able. I pushed my abilities and pruned my wants appropriate to my circumstances. I learned how to be independent and not need things.
But that opened up other questions.
During our first year, while trying to figure all that out, I asked Chris, “If we don’t need each other, what will keep us together?”
He really didn’t understand the question, but he answered: “We will love each other.”
At the time, it was hard for me to understand how he would stay—how could I be sure?—if he wasn’t dependent on me in some way. He should need me.
I’ve learned a lot from trusting his love.
It turns out that instead of being dependent on someone, you can value them highly. In the same way that you would be unwilling to part with an object of value and beauty, you would be unwilling to part with a person of high value and beauty.
And knowing what I value in him, I can try to foster those same things in myself. When I look at myself honestly, I can see that I am of high value. And I can feel confident that he would want to be with this good stuff that is me.
Okay, that’s the micro. What’s the macro? What do men and women need from each other? What desirable thing is it that we are particularly suited to give to each other?
Earlier this summer, I had that highly annoying conversation with a co-worker. You know the one.
“Men and women cannot be friends, because men only want to sleep with the woman.”
Basically, this argument means that men have no use for any part of a woman except…well, you know what I mean.
He brought it up, because I’d met someone who I thought was interesting but who obviously was attracted to me. I’d hoped that he might get over it and be a friend.
“OH no,” co-worker said. “Let me tell you something about men: they never want to be your friend.”
I brought up examples and hypothetical situations. It was a slow day, and we were getting into it. But he was adamant. Friendship was impossible.
I threw this back at him, “So what you’re saying is, while I want to be friends with a guy, he has no interest in my conversation or friendship. Since I am nothing to him, the only thing I’m going to get out of interactions is whatever entertainment I can create….So I should be the biggest possible bitch so that I can get maximum entertainment value.”
The rest of the guys were laughing, but he wouldn’t back down. “I’m telling you, guys do not want to be friends. Ever.”
Well, that made me depressed for a few days afterwards. Upon reflection, I took away two things:
Guys who have that conversation with females are hoping for something. Note to self: avoid that sort of discussion. It’s just an excuse for guys to talk about sex. I thought I had learned that lesson my first year in college, but I guess I forgot. Or hoped that maturity was more widespread than it is.
Also:
Guys who hold that belief have no clue what to do with the huge amorphous feelings they have about women.
Women are highly desirable, but barely understood. The desire they feel is so scary, they try to cover they metaphorical nakedness with this little insufficient scrap called “sex.”
If they have an answer, they can stop asking the question. It matters little that the answer is wrong (or at the least, insufficient). They can put to rest the discomfort of their ignorance with it.
So that leads to another question. What is it that women give men?
I once knew this guy. He was a friend of my ex. He was the most misogynistic young man (~26) I have ever met. He literally had no interest in anything I had to say. I was a woman, and did not count.
It was kind of stunning to realize this. He was never rude, but he treated me as if I were his friend’s cat–simply not a source of intelligence.
He had been dating a 16 year-old (get this, ASIAN). Typical stereo-type. How much more controlling can you be? It was a half-step removed from a mail-order bride. He got married her when she told him he’d gotten her pregnant.
I’d never met her, even though we knew this guy for years while they were dating.
Long story short, after baby boy was almost 2, turned out that wifey had had a boyfriend they whole time and the child was his. She left Mr. Misogynist. He was devastated.
During this bad time, after his wife and erst-while son had left him, he called to talk to my (then) husband. When I told him I was the only one home, he wanted to talk.
I thought he had brought this disaster on himself somewhat, but I felt bad for him. I knew he was hurting.
But the amazing thing is, he wanted to talk to ME.
ME.
The woman he had no use for. The female who might as well have stayed in the kitchen and walked three steps behind for all he cared.
He really wanted to talk to me. He really really wanted to hear words from a kind female. That was all. We talked about small things for maybe 45 minutes.
He needed what I had. He needed womanhood.
I don’t know the boundaries of what masculinity and femininity are. I suspect they are not hard and fast.
But we need each other. And we need each other to be strong and independent in order to receive the good stuff from each other. I think that if we could learn to work together like that, the whole world would change and be beautiful.
Potty dance
It’s happened. Missy Puppy has found me. As soon as I came through the door and leaned over to look at the collection of female puppies, she put her paw out to me.
As consideration, it turned out that she was the prettiest, softest one. And she had the biggest paws.
Lucy really wanted to be with me.
She has come home and the cat is mostly avoiding her. Which is good.
She likes her cage, she loves the backyard. She likes to chew things, and she likes her toys. Frog and Ball are very popular.
She is learning what we expect from her, and we are learning the subtleties of the puppy potty dance.
Nothing new under the sun
This week, I read an article about General Eikenberry’s plans to get Afghanistan on track. He wants money, not men.
Eikenberry is in charge of the occupation of Afghanistan, and he has to figure out a way to do that. His proposal is to build a highway system. As I recal from the WSJ article, he says “where the roads end, the Taliban begin.” He believes that having a roads to the different Afghan cities will make it easier to get to them, and therefore eaiser to rout the Taliban from them.
ALSO: the roads would be built by Afghani people. That means that instead of taking up arms to fight americans troops, the young men could be building a better afghanistan by making roads that will allow communication and commerce. They could have some money in their pocket and the satisfaction of a hard day’s work.
This is GENIUS.
Remember the movie A Bridge on the River Kwai ? I’ll never forget the part where the guy in charge say, “If there wasn’t a bridge we’d have to invent one.” He was saying that the troops needed something to DO, to keep up their morale and stay sharp.
Unemployement for young men…for anybody, really…is a terrible thing. People were meant to have something to do. And we are happiest when we are doing something we are proud of.
The ideological call (in the form of religious extremism) toward war and destruction will be a lot quieter if there is another voice in the room. The voice that says ‘Get up and get to work!’
I don’t know that much about Islam, but I’ve spent a little time thinking about destructive ideological extremism. Do you know that about a hundred years ago, the Western world was terrified about terrorist extremists too? They were suicidal too.
At that time they were known as Anarchists, and eventually Communists. And they were no joke! One of them even assasinated President McKinley.
Think about that. What would be the reaction in America if our President were killed by the current brand of terrorist? In my way of thinking, it is comparable to the 9/11 attack.
so…what was the response to the terrorist threat of the anarchists? Reading Marx and the people who were revolutionized by the message of anarchy, I see that they weren’t kidding about attacking the foundations of power. In fact, they were ruthless in their assesment of who was evil and deserved to die.
They had their eye on King Humbert of Italy.
Humbert was a nice guy. He was a decent king. In them minds of the left-wing Anarchists of the time, he was all the more dangerous for that very reason. They felt that any kind of monarchy was evil, and the fact that he made monarchy look okay made him the more reprehensible.
They assasinated him.
[the reason I learned of Humbert is because he is obliquely referenced in Nabokov’s Lolita. Humbert Humbert is the main character. Nabokov being from Russia and active in leftist circles, he couldn’t resist this jab]
Well, back to the reaction of this extremely dangerous ideological movement. What should be done about them? What did America do in reaction to these murderous extremists?
History tells us. It’s been more than a hundred years. We lived through the Pinkerton oppresion of the unions (a leftist-anarchist movement!).
And then the McCarthyism HUAC: “Are you now and have you ever been a member of the communist party?”
and, most overarching…The cold war
Have we not already been living in an ideological war for decades and decades? Didn’t we use the methods of capitalist colonialism to further our ideology?
My parents tell me of living in Tanzania during the 60s…They saw the battle of american democracy vs. socialism on the ground.
Kingsolver tells the story so well in The Poisonwood Bible.
We did that. America did that, in some kind of tussle with the ideology that began with the anarchists. Ideology is not a light thing. The footprints of the steps taken seem to deepen as the history accumulates.
and there is a tendency towards overweening despair when I look at it.
But let’s not get too excited. We are where we are. We stand on the ground. What does our hand find to do?
Exactly. What can we do? What can everyone do?
get to work. Build a road.
I am quite familiar with the problems of thinking too hard. And the best remedy for that abyss is a project. Hard work.
Gives you something else to think about.
Go Eikenberry Go. That’s a brilliant Idea. I really hope that he gets to do it.