It’s impressive how she tries so hard to do and learn.
She wants to eat her foot:
Category Archives: Motherhood
Thursday Birth Day Again
Feeling really good. I am actually starting to stay up and hang out a little bit after I put the muffin to bed. Last night I stayed up to finish making some soup, and download some photos.
For the past forever, I’ve sprinted through the evening tasks to get my head on my pillow as quickly as possible. But, now I guess I have faith that the night will lead to the next day and the next day will be livable. So I can chill a little bit.
That’s good.
Today, I’m wearing a skirt to work for the first time. Still doesn’t fit right cause I’m fat. But, what with the healthy soups, etc., that is changing.
Found a new toy off Craigslist for the great kicker. She loves it:
I think we’re going to take the muffin to IKEA tomorrow, just to see what she thinks of it.
Monday and 172 days of life
Things are basically normal. I’m back at work for the third consecutive month since Veronica was born. I’m not dead yet, and neither is she. Days have taken on a familiar shape.
It’s funny how my daughter can fill up all the spaces in my life. I’ve always been good at getting things done in the margins. There were the big things that filled the day, but there was all this white space too. Quite frankly, I have seldom been asked to use full capacity.
But this baby oozes into the spaces. I have to look hard for the spaces to fit the other things into. I’m beginning to find them.
For example, I’m learning to cook super fast while Veronica entertains herself in a bouncy chair. And I keep up with the laundry by never missing an opportunity to chip away at it.
60 seconds? Monuments can be built in that span.
I would not say it’s easy. But I can say it’s possible. And I can believe it would be possible to have more than one. Now I just have to convince Chris.
And if anybody wants recipes for superquick prepare-ahead-for-the-week meals, I got ’em.
Is it too soon to take her to a petting zoo?
Because she just can’t get enough of the critters
Steps towards independence
We picked the 4th to finally feed Veronica solid food for the first time. Here’s the thing though: the food was not anywhere near solid. The instructions are to mix this hyper-refined rice cereal with enough formula to take all the rice flavor out of it.
I’d never thought that rice had any flavor to begin with.
But other than the mixing instructions (which I decided were wrong anyway) I had no idea how to go about feeding her. Here is what happened:
The face she’s pulling is priceless. I couldn’t see it when I was feeding her. I switched sides and tried again:
She was a pretty good sport about the ordeal, and ate more than an ounce. But when I tried again the next day she was hungrier and got impatient. This spoon mechanism was really an inefficient way of getting fed, in her opinion.
Since the rice gruel really doesn’t taste different from her formula, I can see her point. Next time, I’ll try mixing the rice with juice and see how that goes over.
Independence Day
What a great day this has been! I slept in, my baby took several mini-naps before we were going anywhere. I got laundry dishes AND a few extra things done. Yay.
Then I dressed her in her 4th of July outfit to go meet with friends:
My muffin loves socializing. She was tired, but she was quiet and cheerful with all the new people who wished to hold and admire her. There were a lot of kids running around, and it was a lot of fun to hang out and visit.
Having a child does seem to narrow my world. And this is a holiday to celebrate independence, right? But pure independence is not possible in this life. I depend on a lot of things. And now, my baby depends entirely on me.
That’s the flip side of independence you know. Not just that I need others than myself, but that I am utterly needed. I have a dependent now. I guess I’ll have to have independence with this little one hanging on.
It’s getting hotter
We’re taking layers off the child. She doesn’t need to have all her skin covered.
She seems to like the shorts weather:
who’d have thought?
It is not so surprising that Veronica loves the kitty. Kitties are lovable and soft and fascinating.
What is surprising is that kitty tolerates it so well. Skellig Cat has always been a crabby don’t-touch-me kind of cat.
But he’s very patient with Veronica. Chris and I would never been permitted that sort of proximity.
If you don’t speak cat, let me explain. Putting his tail THAT CLOSE to little V’s hand is pledging eternal friendship.
She LOVES to feel his fur with her little tiny fingers. I try to intervene when she grabs for the ears, but he’s been pretty patient nonetheless.
Good kitty.
Surprises
It’s Thursday birth day again. She’s 22 weeks old. I’m half way through my week, and this is the first okay week I’ve had since she was born. I mean ‘okay’ in the sense that I feel okay, and that I think things are okay. Not super good, not super bad. Just okay.
Okay is a really great place right now.
As I reflect on my experience with motherhood, it reminds me of this one time, Chris and I were in Hawaii and we went swimming in the ocean. He’d been swimming in the ocean before, but although I love the water I’m a terrible swimmer and had never swum in the ocean before.
The saltiness of the water stung my eyes but the real problem was the waves. I’d get in the water, bob around, paddle a little and then WHAM i’d get hit by the wave. I’d thrash around, scramble to get my footing, rub my eyes, catch my breath, get calm and start to paddle around again. Then WHAM another wave. It surprised me EVERY TIME.
I wonder if I’ll get better at anticipating getting knocked over. I can’t even hope I’ll get better at not getting knocked over.
5 months of motherhood
She’s doing good, and I have survived. I have been surprised at what it means to be a mother, and wondering where I fit in my own life now.
Five months seems like a long time, until I look at how very little my baby is. She’s so much bigger than she was, but she still needs me for everything.
EVERYTHING.
I think about things I would like to be making progress on, but they are way out of reach right now. And it doesn’t even bother me–too much.
It’s the new normal.