So this weekend, I topped off my sleep tank finally. I was able to rest enough that I didn’t need a nap that day, or the next or the next. I was so excited!

Strangely, it’s been making me think of how messed up I’ve been for more almost 2 years now. Pregnancy did a number on me, and then recovering from the birth. So this weekend, while I was thinking ‘I feel so strong and rested and wonderful!’, I was flashing back to how not strong and not wonderful I had been feeling.

Past on the back and future by the hand, moving forward.

I remember how, months after, I sat at the table to eat something–because I had to eat to keep my strenght–and I realized I was totally slumped over. I made myself sit up straight, but the effort was too much. I literally did not have the strength to sit up straight and eat dinner at the same time.

And I walked up to foothill this weekend, pushing the baby and walking the dog. Walked straight up there like it was nothing. But I had struggled up it like it was Mount Everest, attempting it every day until I finally made it…back when Veronica was little.

How in the world did women do it? I still don’t exactly know how I did it. But women have been doing it for centuries. I understand why it used to kill them.

But the good news is, I can stand up straight now. I can walk and stride fast to get where I need to go without pain.

It feels good.

But yesterday, I gave in and ate a bunch of sugary yummy nuts. I shouldn’t have. I had been all full of energy, and was hungry and there they were. And I ate too many. Then I was SO sleepy. Sleepy like I used to be.

Veronica was in a nap when I got home, so I thought I’d get a snooze. But no. She woke up just as I was getting ready to take my shoes off. OH man.

So I dragged through the rest of the afternoon of child wakefullness. Just when I thought the tired was over. HA!

One thing that never changes: things never stay the same.