sometimes it breaks, and then stuff is lost

My refrigerator stopped being cold this saturday. It is leaking unfrozen water right now.

There are a lot of foods which will be lost. I relied upon this appliance and made plans. I bought chicken ahead, and a lot of vegetables.

THat is what happens. THere comes a time when something you rely on fails you. And you have to lose your plans.


Jonah Lehrer, you are not helping

At least he isn’t this morning.

I’m reading “Imagine” and I am all full of ideas. And overlapping the tails of those ideas are all the ways that they will never be implemented, never appreciated and how very stuck I am.

I know it’s time for a change. But change takes time.


gotta find time to have that fight

Chris and I have been having a fight for about a month. Give or take 5…

See, I don’t think I should have to wash the bottles all the time.

And HE doesnt’ think I adequately appreciate or realize what he does at home while I am away at work all day.

These fights seem most important around bedtime, that long GO the F TO SLEEP portion of the day. The duties that must be completed between 8:30 and 10:30 at night are particularly onerous, and when it comes to that total failure in parenting that is driving child around in the car to sleep, there is not margin for error.

Would I like to scream and curse that I have to get up at five and how dare you walk out of the room saying “do whatever you want…”..?

yes. Yes i would. But i have to keep my voice low and soothing because little pitchers have big ears and no action of mine will be the one to delay the much anticipated moment of sleep.

So i do not curse. And I do, and he does, what it takes to get her to sleep.

And then we do what it takes to get us to sleep.

Which is NOT to have that fight at 11 pm at night.

And then the morning begins–mine with an alarm clock and his with the noises of a waking child.

And the next day is off to a galloping start, which includes work, clothes, eating, food, laundry, walking the dog, and THEN the hour of

Go the F to Sleep


and then it starts all over…we don’t have time to finish this fight. Because I would rather lose all sleep altogether than have this fight.

but you can’t put these things off forever. This is modern marriage. Let’s make an appointment to finish this fight already. I promise I won’t call you names if you promise to compromise



Well…I worked very hard today. I didn’t think I would have to work so hard, but then I did.

I thought I would have time to think thoughts and maybe post a blog.

But I didn’t. I didn’t really think many thoughts.

SO. Here is a blogpost. With very little thought put to it

Things i learned from my blog

I’m so in love with my blog again, after re-reading it.

I hid my light under a bushel for a while, but I’m not doing that anymore.


From reading it again,I have learned a couple things about myself. I am really inspired by conversations with people and books i read.

I guess I walk around thinking a couple things, but when I start talking and reading about similar things, my brain motor really starts running.

When I read something inspiring or when I have a conversation (with the right sort of people) then I will really think things.

And I will really write things.

I realize, it’s important for me to be around the sorts of people who I can consversate with.

Losing the Game of Thrones

I’d been hearing for a while how great the Game of Thrones series by George R R Martin was.  But there was some hate too, saying he had taken too long to finish the story.

Fantasy books are all about the series, and usually the trilogy He had three books out, but it wasn’t finished. The story wasn’t done. So I held off from starting it, because why begin knowing i would be disappointed.

Then he published the fourth. To much excitement, and I was ready to dive it. I read all three, saw how much the story was at a cliff hanger, then started the fourth, ready to be amazed and delighted.

I began amazed and delighted. But the story took some wrong turns and I lost my faith.

I lost my faith in the author. I don’t think he can pull this one off. I know some authors can do it. They can take far-flung characters, tell parralell stories and at the end tie them all in together.  Charles Dickens is a master of this.

I remember reading more than one Dickens novel, thinking, who are these characters and why are in this story? But I trusted Dickens. He would pull the threads tight at the end.

I lost my trust in Martin. Especially after Theon. That was a cheap plot ploy. Oh no. I am done and I kick dust on those books. Like after a college boyfriend who had so much potential but just WOULDN”T live up to it after graduation, I am burned and bitter.

Not everyone knows what a loser Martin is though. Because he has



with naked chicks and everything!

So, there are those who only know this story through the television series. And they haven’t seen the true nature of my despised and faithless author.

A co-worker was raving about the finale. I told him I was over the series, because of the books. He was in the twitterpated phase, loving and excited and ready to forgive any sin of the story.

Incest? That’s how they were in that time and place. It’s a good story!

Yeah, I nodded knowingly, it’s a good story. But he has lost his way. You’ll see.

“What do you mean?”

“look, when the threads of the story get so far fetched, the reader starts to think about the author and what he’s trying to do. That takes you out of the story and once that happens you have halfway lost. Then, the author, or storyteller can take it one step to far and the whole thing falls apart.”

“I dont’ get what you mean…”

“Okay, think of it this way. If the author is the storyteller, you trust him. In a book, you never see the author, but if it were a story around the campfire, you SEE the storyteller.

Around the campfire, telling spooky stories. One guy starts to tell a story, and you are all ready to believe

There is an escaped inmate around here. He was last seen travelling in the area. And he is crazy…So crazy…and he is evil. He has a demon-possessed chicken with him!

So far, the story is familiar and has the details you need. Scary guy, in the dark, and it’s magnified with the demon-possessed chicken. It’s the regular campfire story structure, with an exciting twist.

The inmate and his chicken were already caught attacking some campers. In fact, one camper defended himself with an axe and managed to chop the chicken’s head off!! Now there is the headless body of the chicken, running around trying to find his inmate friend. AND since the chicken was demon-possessed, the head is floating around trying to find the inmate too.

okay, this plot has thickened. we are still in the well-known territory of campfire stories, and now it’s gotten pretty complicated. There are three entities roaming around. The chicken body, the chicken head AND the inmate.

Now the inmate decided to travel with a rat…

WHAT?! that’s it…too far. The story teller has his audience throwing marshmallows at him. THAT”s not how the story should go. Next!!

See? The audience doesn’t believe this storyteller knows what he’s doing. And pretty much he doesn’t. You can’t have that complicated of a story. That’s just not how it’s done.”

I would go on a long ride with Charles Dickens. He was not the most elegant writer, but the man knew how to spin  a yarn, and he did not betray his readers.

Go read Dickens, George R R Martin. But I still am not going to read your next book. Theon ruined it for me.


It’s the “uncle Tom’s cabin” for indians.

I finished it. I shall have to write about it later. Some thoughts need to shake out.

what do you do with the bad guys when you want to be a good guy?

My lawyer friend came over today. We hadn’t seen each other in a very long time. The last time I saw her she had just barely started practicing law. and I mean barely.

I’ve known her for a very long time. One of the amazing thing she did was take a break between high school and college to go work with underprivileged Mexicans. In Mexico. For a year.

That’s not what people do. People run off to college as soon as possible to start being a grown up and having fun. But she put her own pleasure second to help other people.

And then after college, she started working on some social-worky kinda stuff. Being basically a genius, she was bored. She figured out that the real power to effect change was with the lawyers.

She became a lawyer. Because, remember, she is a genius.

And now she’s in criminal law. This is the opposite of how I imagine ‘making the world a better place’ works. Aren’t we supposed to fight against the bad guys and win for truth justice and the American way?

I asked her, “how do you do it? How do you defend bad guys?”

Earlier this week, I had watched an episode of a TV show about a small town that lost all reason when it was suspected that the tax auditors were visiting. Every one of them had something to hide by the end.

“Everyone deserves to be heard. Everyone deserves a defense, no matter what they’ve done.” She told me how she’d spent some time in a prison, speaking with inmates who were jailed for murder.  And she saw their humanity.

But I had to ask, “What if you know that the person you are defending is guilty? Aren’t you afraid they will go free?”

“That is incredibly unlikely. Even in the case of someone like O.J. Simpson, when the supposedly guilty person got off, the laws were immediately adjusted to keep that sort of thing from happening again.And,” she went on, “afterwards, he was under so much scrutiny that he is in prison now.”

She believes in the system, and knows how very harsh it is.There are a lot of criminals. And most of them do not have much money to get good legal counsel. Add that up, and that means there are not a lot of criminal defense lawyers and law firms.

One has to look hard to find a place to do the kind of work she’s chosen to do.  I am humbled and impressed by her compassion for the people who society would condemn, and her work on their behalf.

I think I’m gonna go try to clear out my closet of the judgey-pants I usually put on. After all, everyone of us has something we are ashamed of. Love and compassion ought to be closer at hand.