entitled

Women complain a lot about how men feel entitled. That the guy gets to have his way, that HIS voice in the meeting is the one to be heard.

I know that men tend to state things rather than reference things. Women I know will say ” I heard a news story about a huge pile of trash in the ocean that no one will clean up.” Men will usually say “There is a big pile of trash in the ocean.”

Women feel like we have to back up what we say, because it’s not enough that we say it. Men will just assert it. It can come across as arrogant.

I sometimes try to do this in my job, because it seems that arrogance pays. I dont’ know if it does or not.

But men often say that women are entitled. Men say it long and loud how women are x, y, z entitled.

It is hard for me to see. It’s hard for anybody to see the back of their head that way. Boy oh boy, men don’t like it when women call them entitled. Women don’t like it either.

I heard this fascinating interview with a person, born female, who underwent a sex change operation. He described the changes, and one of the things she had to trainsition into as a man was different conversational style. He said as a man, that he had to learn to realize that he didn’t get to ramble on in conversations the way a woman might. He missed it. He said “but I’m so fascinating!” in a self-mocking way.

I wonder. Men do complain about women rambling on. And we can, it’s true. Do we feel entitled to tell our stories in the detail we want?

I’m not sure. Maybe.

It is very hard to know what it’s like from the other side. There are a number of greek myths that talk about going from one to the other, man and woman.

I know I wish that the men in my life understood and appreciated how amazing–ingenius and preseverent–I am. It seems taken for granted. Hm.

This piece made me think about it.

And this:

 

This is where he is supposed to have an epiphany of how amazing I am and what a hard week it has been for me…

Only he doesn’t.

only he doesn’t. It doesnt’ seem to matter which “he” i’m talking about either.

There are times when I hear “good job” or “thank you.”  It does happen. But the context and emphasis is insufficient.

Yes, it has come back to gold stars. Proper appreciation, Proper respect.

I feel very entitled to that. So much so that it can kinda ruin my day if I don’t get them.

It is very seldom that I get them. What on earth makes me think I am entitled? Not experience, that’s for sure