Category Archives: bookworthy

parade of Grandparents

Posted on by

Yesterday, Veronica’s grandparents all came to visit, pretty much unplanned and unbeknownst to each other.

Chris’s mom had already volunteered to come help out…which meant holding the baby while I took a nap.

She held the baby like a pro. And I realized that i hadn’t given Veronica away to be held for more than…oh…20 minutes since she was born. My arms felt very empty and I felt almost panicky. But I lay down and managed a nap for about a half hour.

I didn’t think I would sleep, but I knew i had to try.

See, I had called my mom the day before and just cried at her about how hard this was and how I had not sleep and how I was overwhelmed with anxiety at all the responsibility of this little life. She booked a hotel and was driving down to help out over her three day weekend.

So, Chris’s mom held my baby, and I knew that even if I couldn’t fall asleep that day, I had to stay awake and get used to someone else taking care of the baby so that I could fall asleep the next day.

I did sleep for about a half hour, and that was good.

What with all the grandparents coming through and holding my child, she slept a lot…lap naps. I was worried (what CAN’T I worry about right now?) that she wouldn’t sleep through the night. She seemed to have slept all day.

But she slept fine. And I slept better, too. Just sharing the load a little made a big difference.

Extra pillow, and voila!

Posted on by

It was a pretty good night, and it was made so much more so by my realization that with the addition of a pillow, the big chair i’ve been nursing V on is possible to *also* fall asleep on.

Yay! I feel like I’m double dipping from the sleep jar.

tight as a piano wire

Posted on by
She slept good last night, but i was so traumatized by the night before I could barely relax to enjoy it.
Chris did start to give her a bottle; but she called him a fraud and accused hum of trying to kill her. she knew very well he was not a source of food!!
It traumatized both of us, all the more because we saw how it made the other feel. HE knew i needed his help but his daughter wasn’t letting him. I saw how my soft-hearted was beingt verbally abused.
He gave up gave me the bottle. She took it fairly readily, with only a few screams. Then I handed her back to him so I could try the new electric breast pump.
My courage failed at first,  this thing was a monster. But i rallied and managed to hook it up and ‘express’ an ounce.
In the middle, V was screaming from the bedroom with daddy, who after a time joinefd and sent out an sos. I called out that he could bring her into the living room. Hr couldn’t hear me,
But the squalling died down, and I finished and unhooked myself. then realzed i had no plan for where to store the stuff.
In the end she slept better than any other night ever; probably because sha had not napped

2 week-iversary

Posted on by

two weeks of new life in my family

Veronica has learned most significantly to go from zero to purple faced shriek in no time flat..is this colic?  or infant personality?

I bought 2 nights of almost enough sleep by supplementing with formula (takes longer to digest, therefore she sleeps longer) . But the system broke down last night and we celebrated her birth with an all-nighter.

She hasn’t learned to focus her eyes, so ‘playing’ with her isn’t poosible. Daddy does enjoy her kung-fu grip, but that’s as far as it goes.

I did learn that i have to beat the crap out of her to get her to burp…poor thing! But i guess burping is necessary.

Round about five AM when I was *still* up with V and serving as pacifier replacer every 30 seconds, I grabbed pencil and notebook to regroup.

You can’t know what to expect till you get to the top of the hill. I can see the other side now, and the other side says “Nights do not belong to the sleeping anymore..” I can’t control if she will sleep, but I can use the resources to share this burden. She needs me so much, I have to make sure I stay well as part of her upkeep, leave aside my own.

So…Bottles are going to play a large part in our lives now. I woke up Chris a few hours later and said “You will be feeding your daughter today.”

The pilliow muffled his answer, but we came up with a plan, and he’s off getting a breast pump

and more pacifiers

So I looked down at this child who lefty my womb 14 days ago, but who really hasn’t left my stomach since I’ve been holding her so incessantly, and said “Kid, we are your parents and we can take whatever you throw at us. As long as we stick together.”

Mom status

Posted on by

Chris held Veronica yesterday for me, so I could take a shower.  He was in bed, and holding little V while he watched Bloomberg news channel as he does every morning when he wakes up. I came back in a towel to hear him say to her: “Look at you making frowny faces. You are so serious! ‘We shall fight them on the beaches; we shall fight them in the crib…'”

Then he saw me. “What? all babies look like Winston Churchill”

We’ve been practicing referring to each other as mommy and daddy. It’s weird, but we’re getting used to it. It’s only been a week and..some days. My days are counted out in 3 hour sections; that’s how often I have to feed my child day or night. So, calendar days seem impossible to get my head around.

Everyone says that being a parent is amazing. Of course, saying something like that never prepared a person for it. Yes, it’s a lot of work. And yes, she is precious and adorable. And none of those sentences deserve to be written because they don’t get close to containing the meaning–the reality of it.

This weekend over-stressed me and therefore Veronica. My body is on some strange auto-pilot (lactatation being the most obvious symptom) and Veronica is just so new to the world that it doesn’t take much to throw  either or both of us off.  So, since Saturday night she has been experiencing intestinal distress.

Poor thing! I could hear her tummy gurgling, and I could definitely hear her screams. She could not calm down, she would not go to sleep. So the first night you think it’s just that one time. But it went on and I was ragged.

The responsibility of it hits me. I have to help her. She needs me.  I have to be aware of all her needs even before she is. So her screams and lack of sleep for both of us took it’s toll.

In the end, I finally decided that I needed to do SOMETHING. Poking around on the internet I got an idea of what was wrong and hit upon a solution. I tried it and GLORY BE, she slept very well last night.

So did I. I hope it keeps up.

a good night..redefined

Posted on by

so my child had me up a lot last night, but in the end as an act of mercy (from who, I can’t say, but I’m grateful) let me sleep a full two and a half hours.

I threw my back out. Too much hunching, perhaps. Or maybe it was inevitable that something go amiss after all the massive effort the delivery entailed. But what the means is most of the day before and all yesterday I could barely walk and standing was iffy.

That means I haven’t had a shower in forever. I am so filthy. If I were a blanket I would not let myself NEAR my child until I’d been laundered. What with diaper changing encounters, milk and formula dripping and spurting in all directions, spit up and the other post-delivery oozings, etc I am not fit to exist outside a trash can.

But Chris put some ice on my back yesterday, and I think I can stand long enoiugh to shower at last. Veronica is lying on my knee as i write this one handed. Once she decides to sleep again I’m popping the bath&Bodu works and rejoining the human race.

Home Excitement

Posted on by

I can’t seem to find the card reader for still photos, but I promised to show what she looks like. Here is our child in an action sequence:

As I suspected would be the case, our loving family dog is very very concerned with the care and well-being of the new person in the house. She wags constantly when Veronica is visible, and will bark alarm when the child is really crying.

I’m pretty sure she doubts my competence as a parent. But here’s a glimpse:

So yesterday was the first full day home with our Daughter. It was so exciting to be home again!

She seemed to like her crib, which was good, because the alien space blanket only had a a 3-ft umbilical cord. We had to move the armchair closer to the crib just so I could move her out to feed her (Every three Hours! Or Two! or One! doctors keep telling me I’m not feeding her enough, because if I was she wouldn’t be jaundiced!)

Anyway, she was great and stayed there all day pretty much sleeping. Chris and I ran around realizing all the things that so OBVIOUSLY had to be changed now that she was here.

I meant to take a nap, but I didn’t.

So, veteran parents…you see this one coming don’t you? A classic rookie mistake.

“She seemed tired, so I just let her sleep..” all day which means that all night she is not interested in sleeping.

We had a rough night. No sleeping for anyone.

But the good news is, at our doctor visit today they said she is not jaundiced anymore and the blanket is exorcised at last.

Last night was rough, but we vowed to do better today. I have to keep the child awake for some periods during the day, or it wil just happen again. The above shots are from the ‘stay awake’ efforts this afternoon

Tick tock

Posted on by

As of now, it will be 48 hours until I arrive at the hospital to begin birthing this child.

It seems both very near and impossibly far away. I am eager to trade in these old tired uncomfortable symptoms for the new and unknown ones that come from delivering a baby.

One good thing is, I’m sleeping really well. I guess I know that I won’t be sleeping so well on tuesday night, and somehow that let me sleep for about 11 hours today. I’ll need my strength.

One fear I have is that the old tired uncomfortable symptoms will stick around to keep the new symptoms company for a while. I HOPE that my hands and feet will stop swelling the instant the delivery is over. But maybe not.

Well, it can’t start to be over until the delivery is over. So, nothing to do but wait and nap as much as possible.

symptoms

Posted on by

While I am sleeping, a small ninja creeps into my mouth. This is easy, since my nose is stuffed up and I have to breathe with my mouth open.

He creeps into my mouth with full ninja weaponry and stabs the back of  my throat repeatedly.

I dont’ wake up right away, but I do wake up and usually reach for some water since the winter desert air of my home has stripped the mucous membranes of my oral cavity of all moisture. I reach for some water first to add the moisture that nature intended my mouth to have, but as soon as I swallow I discover the ravages the small ninja has left behind on my tonsils.

Tonsil wounds heal slowly, apparently.

Old Fashioned Women

Posted on by

I admit, I do like the Victorian era. At least, I like the books that come from that period. Tha ladies with their fabulous dresses and parties and entrigues.

Mr Darcy is a nearly endlessly fascinating man. How many movies, exactly, have been made of Pride and Prejudice? and how many more will be made?

Of course, it would not be so fun to actually live in the Victorian era. The not being able to vote thing, and the obsession with propriety would wear thin in about five minutes.

But one thing about those Victorian ladies I do admire and would like to emulate in my current modern life is their ability to ‘correspond.’ Writing letters and responding to gift and invitations seemed to be a weekly, if not daily, activity for these women.

I guess I write emails at least that frequently. But letters? with STAMPS? Those are harder to achieve.

Christmas just happened, and that is the time of year when a lot of people make the effort to send a physical card and/or letter to their wide aquaintance. I think that’s a beautiful thing. It’s really wonderful to send and recieve these missives. Perhaps it is one of the old-fashioned traditions that make Christmas so special.

Getting all the envelopes and cards ready reminded me of the efforts made last year for my wedding invitations. Checking and double-checking to make sure I have all the pertinent addresses for everyone is tedious, but it is pleasant to think of all these people who have been a joy to my life.

Because of my restricted abilities right now, I am triple-checking the address list. I know I just sent out the Christmas letter, but I intend to send out a birth announcement with little Daley Daughter picture to everyone.

Since I can’t reorganize the garage (a task needing doing, but not something I can do right now), I can at least pre-adress the envelopes for the next mailing.

The combination of being so dis- abled and preparing correspondence makes me feel rather Victorian. Also, I’m drinking copious amounts of tea. Very very victorian.

Maybe I could go rent Pride and Prejudice.